So my store got a new manager recently. I (20f) wasn’t there for the first few weeks of him being in this position, so I don’t know him or his mannerisms/personality as well as other partners, but it’s pretty clear that a lot of people are frustrated with him/find him annoying for a handful of different reasons.

Anyway, I really liked him at first. He seemed very chill, very nice, pretty funny and down-to-earth.

But the dude has no concept of personal space.

I’m all for the occasional high-five. I think it’s fine and normal for partners who are good friends to give each other a hug or whatever. But it’s kind of weird for a male manager to be so hands-on with his female employees.

At first I just noticed that he would people’s shoulders sometimes when he’d talk to them. Which was a little odd, but whatever. Then when I was making a drink for a customer, he came over to ask me a question, and he was like rubbing my back. When he’d walk past us, he put his hand on the small of my back a few times.

I thought maybe I was just overthinking it. After all, I’m not usually a huge fan of physical contact unless it’s with close friends, and even then it’s usually limited.

Then I saw him talking to my SSV (a woman in her 50s) and he put his hands on her shoulders, rubbed them, like practically giving her an unsolicited back massage. She doesn’t take anyone’s shit, so she shrugged him off and walked away to grab something (and I assume to get him to leave her alone).

I heard another barista complaining about him last night, I asked how she feels about him, and she made it very clear that she hates him. So I asked if she’s noticed how “hands on” he is, and she very quickly agreed, saying that she hates it and that she also just finds it weird and uncomfortable.

It just feels weird.

Maybe it would be less weird if he were a woman. I had a female SSV at one point who would gently put a hand on my shoulder/back when she needed my attention or when she was asking how I was doing, but that never felt weird. It seemed more comforting/maternal almost.

Maybe it would be less weird if we didn’t have a staff that was 90% women, or if he was like this at all with the guys on our staff, but I’ve never seen him initiate physical contact with other male partners.

I dunno. I’m not particularly bothered or upset. I just think it’s a little uncomfortable when my male boss, twice my age, is putting his hands on my back or running my shoulders or standing RIGHT next to me when he could easily leave a little bit of personal space.

I don’t think it’s intentional or that he MEANS to be creepy/uncomfortable. He seems like a genuinely nice guy, and maybe he’s a person who’s used to physical affection, but idk.

I’m just curious what y’all think, cause it just seems odd.

Edit: I found out he was low-key harassing a minor in the store, then immediately proceeded to call in and report him to Ethics. The interaction with Ethics was alright. The guy on the other end of the line was very good about taking steps to maintain my anonymity (listing a specific date, names, etc). Hopefully my manager is called out and isn’t able to repeat this behavior in the future, but I doubt I’ll ever know. He’s leaving our store after his shift tomorrow anyway.