Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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Partner with a bad attitude..towards only me (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by adventurelyfe
So, I’m pretty new. 4 months or so. I’m older than most of the partners, but I’m not lame (lol). I only work at Starbucks to get out of my house a few days a week after being trapped at home 2 years pregnant and then with a newborn.
I get along fine with everyone. I come to work, work hard, and go home. I don’t hang out with people outside of work, I have a family and don’t go out partying anymore, I just don’t have much in common with the younger crowd. No big deal. I’m pleasant at work, take criticism well, want to learn and get better.
There is one partner who constantly gives me bad attitude. For no reason. And it’s so strange. She’s cool with everyone else. Cool with customers. Obviously has been there awhile, but definitely isn’t perfect at their job. I’ve seen her make mistakes. No big deal. We all do.
But she talks to me like I’m an absolute idiot- and I’m not. Unfortunately for me, we work together a lot (we are openers).
Now, in the real world I have no issue vocalizing and standing up for myself. But I just don’t have the desire to start unnecessary drama with a 21 year old. And I can tell that’s exactly what would happen if I asked her what her deal with me is.
How can I approach this? I dread working with her. It sucks seeing her been so cool with everyone else and then talking to me like I’m absolutely stupid and useless.
I get along fine with everyone. I come to work, work hard, and go home. I don’t hang out with people outside of work, I have a family and don’t go out partying anymore, I just don’t have much in common with the younger crowd. No big deal. I’m pleasant at work, take criticism well, want to learn and get better.
There is one partner who constantly gives me bad attitude. For no reason. And it’s so strange. She’s cool with everyone else. Cool with customers. Obviously has been there awhile, but definitely isn’t perfect at their job. I’ve seen her make mistakes. No big deal. We all do.
But she talks to me like I’m an absolute idiot- and I’m not. Unfortunately for me, we work together a lot (we are openers).
Now, in the real world I have no issue vocalizing and standing up for myself. But I just don’t have the desire to start unnecessary drama with a 21 year old. And I can tell that’s exactly what would happen if I asked her what her deal with me is.
How can I approach this? I dread working with her. It sucks seeing her been so cool with everyone else and then talking to me like I’m absolutely stupid and useless.
Normal_Human_4567 71 points 1y ago
If you have the guts for it, I'd just tell them exactly what you think when they are rude to you.
"Yes, I understand, you don't have to coddle me."
"I'm sorry but I don't appreciate your tone."
"Alright, I see what you're saying, but you don't have to snap at me."
"Yes, I understand, you don't have to coddle me."
"I'm sorry but I don't appreciate your tone."
"Alright, I see what you're saying, but you don't have to snap at me."
adventurelyfe [OP] 30 points 1y ago
Yea you’re probably right I just know she’s going to treat me even worse after lol. Thanks :)
Normal_Human_4567 30 points 1y ago
Mm, but if you calmly and confidently shut her down, you know you've done everything you can. So if you go higher up and they say "have you spoken to her?" You can say, "no, but I made it clear that her treatment of me was not okay."
I might also make a note of any incidents that stick out, so you can reference them if it comes up or if you do decide to go to your SM
I might also make a note of any incidents that stick out, so you can reference them if it comes up or if you do decide to go to your SM
adventurelyfe [OP] 16 points 1y ago
True. I guess I don’t HAVE to be combative lol! I’ll try it in an overly nice way. Thanks 🙏🏻
Haemmur 6 points 1y ago
Document everything.
wildaloofrebel55 13 points 1y ago
This. Let her know you see her treatment towards you and it’s not okay
voxinx 36 points 1y ago
If she treats u like shit just go to ur sm, if she keeps doing it, go to dm, etc. you could always confront her and ask what her issue is.
Few-Tax-1647 20 points 1y ago
We have a younger partner at my store who has the same attitude to every new person. It screams insecurity and left-over high school drama. Plus something about working at the siren really gives some people a superiority complex because that’s all they’ve accomplished in life so far.
I would say the best thing to do would be continue not to react. As you’ve mentioned in comments, if you even acknowledge her attitude to her, she’s probably going to get so much worse. 100% ignore her and do you. Get your bag and go home to your kiddos, she’ll have to learn to grow up eventually.
I continuously ignored the girl at my store. I didn’t react to her bitchiness but also didn’t talk overly nice like I would if she were a bitchy customer. Didn’t wanna seem like a pushover. Now she very rarely talks to me and my shifts are more peaceful lol.
I would say the best thing to do would be continue not to react. As you’ve mentioned in comments, if you even acknowledge her attitude to her, she’s probably going to get so much worse. 100% ignore her and do you. Get your bag and go home to your kiddos, she’ll have to learn to grow up eventually.
I continuously ignored the girl at my store. I didn’t react to her bitchiness but also didn’t talk overly nice like I would if she were a bitchy customer. Didn’t wanna seem like a pushover. Now she very rarely talks to me and my shifts are more peaceful lol.
adventurelyfe [OP] 5 points 1y ago
This is pretty much the approach I’ve been taking. Tbh I don’t want to be friends with a child (no offense to younger partners- I love work friends, but I’m just at a different stance in life) but at the same time, just leave me alone and let’s do our jobs. I just want this job to be a fun place for me to escape the everyday life of a stay at home mom while I am in nursing school 😭
orangeygirly 12 points 1y ago
I AM HAVING THE SAME ISSUE. Except, I’m 22 and this coworker who has been targeting me is like 35. For whatever reason, she just decided she hates me while she’s cool with everybody else. She’s made me cry, so I have decided to get my manager involved. You can do it without necessarily snitching on them, just have your SM act as a conflict resolution. If that’s too much, the best way really is to approach it head-on, in person, in a calm and non-accusatory manner.
adventurelyfe [OP] 5 points 1y ago
I can’t imagine someone my age being an asshole at a job like Starbucks. Lmao. Sorry you’re going through that.
orangeygirly 5 points 1y ago
yeah and especially to someone way younger. i have another job with a few coworkers in high school and i would never do to them what she’s doing to me.
fawnaluna 10 points 1y ago
i’d say talk to your store manager about it. seeing as we JUST went through ageism training, this should not be tolerated/happening, at. all.
an alternative (which i wouldn’t do but it’s up to you) is to have a shift that you’re close with talk to her if you don’t wanna get management involved.
sorry this is happening i hope it gets better for you :/
an alternative (which i wouldn’t do but it’s up to you) is to have a shift that you’re close with talk to her if you don’t wanna get management involved.
sorry this is happening i hope it gets better for you :/
adventurelyfe [OP] 6 points 1y ago
It’s fine. I’m not wrecked on it. I just don’t get it lol. I also know it’ll turn into a dramatic mess if I make an issue of it. Not sure what I’m looking for- I wish we could just be adults. We don’t have to love each other, but why not be cool at work.
Anyway- thanks. I have a good relationship with my sm so if it continues I’ll definitely voice my concerns to her.
ETA: Ageism makes me feel old as fuck. Lol. I’m 34 but still have a decent amount of years on most of my coworkers 😭
Anyway- thanks. I have a good relationship with my sm so if it continues I’ll definitely voice my concerns to her.
ETA: Ageism makes me feel old as fuck. Lol. I’m 34 but still have a decent amount of years on most of my coworkers 😭
[deleted] 2 points 1y ago
[deleted]
amy_2014 2 points 1y ago
A former SM of mine taught me this trick that is now my favorite. Speak specifically about how what just transpired makes YOU feel. “What you just said hurts me feelings,” or “your tone is making me upset.” Most of the time, people are so taken back by the bluntness of the statement that it’ll knock them off their high horse a bit and actually feel bad for their actions.
Beyond that, definitely bring it up with your SM. Maybe this person is going through something and wrongfully taking it out on you. I will say, years ago when I was in my early 20s and a SSV, I was the manager with an attitude… And honestly, I was extremely unhappy in my life, scraping by to feed myself, debt was piling up, I was struggling with my mental health, and felt like I was going nowhere in life.
That doesn’t mean that treating you like a verbal punching bag is okay! But when I learned how my words/attitude were actually impacting people, it caused me to step back and realize why I was so on edge and be more cautious with the way I was treating others.
Good luck!
Beyond that, definitely bring it up with your SM. Maybe this person is going through something and wrongfully taking it out on you. I will say, years ago when I was in my early 20s and a SSV, I was the manager with an attitude… And honestly, I was extremely unhappy in my life, scraping by to feed myself, debt was piling up, I was struggling with my mental health, and felt like I was going nowhere in life.
That doesn’t mean that treating you like a verbal punching bag is okay! But when I learned how my words/attitude were actually impacting people, it caused me to step back and realize why I was so on edge and be more cautious with the way I was treating others.
Good luck!
Impossible-Host-924 1 points 1y ago
as a shift supervisor, I would advise you bring it up with your store manager if that doesn’t work I would either take it into your own hands by having a discussion or talking to your district manager
Downtown_Asparagus71 1 points 1y ago
It’s probably her insecurities.
If you don’t “need” her, ignore her or …. Be nice as sugar. Then she’ll look more and more like an idiot
If you don’t “need” her, ignore her or …. Be nice as sugar. Then she’ll look more and more like an idiot
wok3less 1 points 1y ago
this is so crazy to me. my store has a pretty wide diversity in age (majority teens or young adults but we have quite a few people in the 30-60? range) and i always feel so silly telling someone older than me what to do, let alone tell them theyre wrong about something or give them attitude
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