Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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One of my shift managers kinda threatened me last night. (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by theblackwarlock44
So I was working both DTO and window last night, and one of my shift mangers who was working asked me “don’t you think calling dude to some people might be offensive?”
Then I replied “uhhhh no i don’t think so. Why?”
Then I focus my attention on a customer at the window, so my back is facing her. Then she says something along the lines of “ the last time someone called me dude I wanted to punch them”
One of my other co-workers were there and heard what she said. When I heard it, I was like “what the fuck” and “is she threatening me or something?” In my head. She also made a couple rude comments like “he needs his hearing checked” pretty loudly to my actual shift manager, when I asked a customer at the speaker box to repeat themselves for one drink. This isn’t the first time she made rude comments or had a nasty attitude. But last night was the final straw when she said this.
Then I replied “uhhhh no i don’t think so. Why?”
Then I focus my attention on a customer at the window, so my back is facing her. Then she says something along the lines of “ the last time someone called me dude I wanted to punch them”
One of my other co-workers were there and heard what she said. When I heard it, I was like “what the fuck” and “is she threatening me or something?” In my head. She also made a couple rude comments like “he needs his hearing checked” pretty loudly to my actual shift manager, when I asked a customer at the speaker box to repeat themselves for one drink. This isn’t the first time she made rude comments or had a nasty attitude. But last night was the final straw when she said this.
thefoolwitch 40 points 1y ago
I think her last comment (“he needs his hearing checked”) was rude as fuck and very unnecessary, and I don’t think she should have said the thing about punching, but I would not at all interpret that as a threat even a little bit, no. To me that’s clearly an exaggerated way of explaining she hates being called “dude.”
And, I gotta throw my two cents in, sorry… It’s true that a LOT of people don’t like having gendered terms applied to them. There’s a girl at my store that calls everyone “girl” constantly (no matter the gender) but I had to tell her to leave me out of it because as a trans guy it makes me dysphoric as hell. She just uses it for everyone except me now, and I’m thankful. (shrug)
It might be worth it to have a convo with her or bring up to another shift manager that you’re feeling like maybe she doesn’t like you very much, so you can work together to clear the air.
And, I gotta throw my two cents in, sorry… It’s true that a LOT of people don’t like having gendered terms applied to them. There’s a girl at my store that calls everyone “girl” constantly (no matter the gender) but I had to tell her to leave me out of it because as a trans guy it makes me dysphoric as hell. She just uses it for everyone except me now, and I’m thankful. (shrug)
It might be worth it to have a convo with her or bring up to another shift manager that you’re feeling like maybe she doesn’t like you very much, so you can work together to clear the air.
pranasoup 39 points 1y ago
my feelings on the word dude aside, i would take her comment as strange/inappropriate but not as a threat.
theblackwarlock44 [OP] 9 points 1y ago
Im gonna talk to her today and see what’s up and if like she doesn’t talk to me like that again at least. At the time when she said it, she said it very rudely and I found it strange
philosopher_cat_lady -9 points 1y ago
Are you fucking kidding? It's a threat. And she needs to be written up for it if not fired. I'd want her fired if I were managing her. Also, this is enough to have their manager forced to schedule the two partners at different times.
I worked with a verbally abusive barista. She never threatened me, but she was abusive. I was able to get my manager to schedule us at different times for the most part. Sometimes I still worked with her. It got to the point where I quit. And around that time my manager went on a leave so I talked to my acting manager about this issue and he said unless she had threatened me I wasn't able to legitimately be scheduled at separate times from her. It should never get to that point, and that should not be the deciding factor as to what behavior is acceptable in the workplace and what isn't. This shift manager's behavior is unacceptable. It would also be unacceptable if it were coming from any employee. When this shit isn't addressed \*seriously\*, it just grows. And innocent people get hurt.
In my opinion, this manager has an illogical trigger from the word 'dude.' My coworker had one with the word 'need.' I became terrified to ever talk to her. And she still managed to berate me and abuse me.
I worked with a verbally abusive barista. She never threatened me, but she was abusive. I was able to get my manager to schedule us at different times for the most part. Sometimes I still worked with her. It got to the point where I quit. And around that time my manager went on a leave so I talked to my acting manager about this issue and he said unless she had threatened me I wasn't able to legitimately be scheduled at separate times from her. It should never get to that point, and that should not be the deciding factor as to what behavior is acceptable in the workplace and what isn't. This shift manager's behavior is unacceptable. It would also be unacceptable if it were coming from any employee. When this shit isn't addressed \*seriously\*, it just grows. And innocent people get hurt.
In my opinion, this manager has an illogical trigger from the word 'dude.' My coworker had one with the word 'need.' I became terrified to ever talk to her. And she still managed to berate me and abuse me.
pranasoup 6 points 1y ago
sorry if there’s a misunderstanding here. i stated that as my perception- “i would take.” i would also really appreciate you not being rude to me for it. i’m not here telling you that you’re wrong for yours.
philosopher_cat_lady 1 points 1y ago
So abuse is not a perception. And analyzing what is and what is not abuse is not really a matter of being polite.
pranasoup 3 points 1y ago
seeing your amended comment now, i have to say that your store seems like it must be really nice. genuinely. i’ve been verbally assaulted, harassed, misgendered, threatened with physical violence, tripped by someone who had previously been fired, and have had a peer threaten to kill me. they are all still employed and i still run shifts they are on. not every store holds up the company’s mission and values. *i think* sometimes people are really shitty humans but it doesn’t mean they are threatening you- they’re being disrespectful and inappropriate and i think that’s applicable here, personally.
philosopher_cat_lady 0 points 1y ago
I guess it depends on what you mean by threat. Did this person consciously consider the possibility of punching the barista? Who knows. But she communicated that she may be considering it, especially if the barista ever calls them 'dude' again (which is obviously ridiculous), and that's a threat. A veiled threat, to be specific.
It's sad that this is the case in the workforce. This company clearly doesn't care about employee-on-employee abuse.
It's sad that this is the case in the workforce. This company clearly doesn't care about employee-on-employee abuse.
pranasoup 2 points 1y ago
seeing your, again, amended comment- i think you’re saying in your experience what i said in my first comment.
philosopher_cat_lady 0 points 1y ago
No, I'm saying that my coworker never used the word 'punch' while talking to me or about me.
appleslicecity 6 points 1y ago
An SM in my district recently got fired for making comments like that. I'd report it.
sheep_heavenly 3 points 1y ago
It's an indirect threat, but unacceptable all the same. It made you feel fearful and that's basis enough.
champshere 3 points 1y ago
I’d tell the gm and it sounds like they have something against you.
Haemmur 0 points 1y ago
I guess there's not going to be a honey moon?
oooortcloud -2 points 1y ago
For what it’s worth, I do not appreciate being called “dude” when I am clearly female-presenting. I know that a lot of people use “dude” as a gender-neutral term, but it is still very much a word used to refer to men. As such, a lot of not-men don’t like being referred to as “dude”.
She sounds aggressive, but not threatening. Sounds like she’s just overall kinda prickly.
She sounds aggressive, but not threatening. Sounds like she’s just overall kinda prickly.
Necessary_Low939 -15 points 1y ago
She needs to get laid.
Edit: the sm. Lol all these downvotes but I get an award. Thanks anon!
Edit: the sm. Lol all these downvotes but I get an award. Thanks anon!
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