Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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I think I was rude to a barista and now I feel guilty about it.. (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by [deleted]
[deleted]
PauseAccording20 50 points 1y ago
While I’m in one of the stores that doesn’t force us to make “connections” other stores push it hard, we’re tired, overworked and short staffed so yeah you were absolutely rude
UnformedStorm26 38 points 1y ago
He’s trying to make customers smile while also doing his job, and you come in and say, “I like to mind my own business.” If this happened to me, I would most likely start crying, but that’s just me. Just because you’re miserable doesn’t give you the right to bring others down with you. Not only were you rude, you just sound like a jerk in general.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
Thanks for your comment. I’m not a miserable person and I had no intentions of bringing anyones mood down but as I have repeatedly tried to explain in the comments, there was something pushy about this gentleman’s behavior that called for a response. Any normal conversation I’ve had in my adult life includes reading the other persons body language and he failed to do so. I was trying to make it clear that I wasn’t interested in engaging but the questions kept on coming.
In my opinion you don’t have to be miserable to not want to engage enthusiastically with strangers at 7 in the morning on an empty stomach with no coffee. That’s just normal ass everyday people behavior. But even so I did respond with kindness at first but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to stop I felt the need to do something. But still,I overreacted.i was an ass and I feel bad about it and I can’t wait to apologize to this man.
In my opinion you don’t have to be miserable to not want to engage enthusiastically with strangers at 7 in the morning on an empty stomach with no coffee. That’s just normal ass everyday people behavior. But even so I did respond with kindness at first but when it became clear that he wasn’t going to stop I felt the need to do something. But still,I overreacted.i was an ass and I feel bad about it and I can’t wait to apologize to this man.
GuySmileyIncognito 28 points 1y ago
YTA
kushingdreams 27 points 1y ago
I think u should apologize. its part of the job to ask what are you up to. you could always pretend to be on the phone if you dont wanna be bothered. But most people like how friendly starbuck workers are compared to other fast food chains.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
I’m definitely planning on apologizing. I went back to the store already but he was off so I’ll try again soon. Pretending to be on the phone really rubs me the wrong way. It’s totally disingenuous and seems way more rude especially if he were to somehow find out. I’d rather face my problems head on. But still I feel I overreacted and will go back and apologize.
[deleted] [OP] 24 points 1y ago
[deleted]
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
I’m so sorry management forces this on you guys. People are naturally friendly with each other for the most part without the need to force small talk which most people can’t stand. I think this is poor management but now knowing what I know now, I can recognize where he was coming from and see he was just trying to do his job and I definitely will pay him an apology.
Too be clear I don’t feel pushing back against the invasiveness of his questions was unwarranted, He was definitely being pushy in my eyes but I overreacted and will correct the encounter.
It makes me happy to see you guys all standing up for your fellow barista!
Too be clear I don’t feel pushing back against the invasiveness of his questions was unwarranted, He was definitely being pushy in my eyes but I overreacted and will correct the encounter.
It makes me happy to see you guys all standing up for your fellow barista!
Dangitkayla 15 points 1y ago
i guarantee you the baristas there know who you are and dislike you. the next time you’re there and if you get that barista tell them you’re sorry and tip them.
we have a regular that acts the same way you did, people shove the drink in her face and shut the window asap. they don’t bother talking to her anymore cos she’s an ass
if i was your barista that would have hurt on a personal level, it’s my job to build connections and i actually befriend customers, literally just use your phone or cut the convo short in a nice way
we have a regular that acts the same way you did, people shove the drink in her face and shut the window asap. they don’t bother talking to her anymore cos she’s an ass
if i was your barista that would have hurt on a personal level, it’s my job to build connections and i actually befriend customers, literally just use your phone or cut the convo short in a nice way
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon -18 points 1y ago
It just seems kind of fake and even ruder to resort to pretending to be on the phone. What’s a nice way of saying hey I feel like your prying with all the questions and it’s making me uncomfortable?
ofmiceandshelbs 2 points 1y ago
I do greatly understand your perspective on the situation and how you can feel greatly creeped out by it. You did perfectly state how you feel about it and I think communicating that to the barista next time would be effective. Next time you run into that barista, it’d be nice of you to communicate that you felt uncomfortable and you’re sorry for being rude as it wasn’t your intention. Trust me, even a simple small explanation and apology goes a long way.
Unfortunately, Starbucks pushes us to get to learn about our customers, and gives us a customer connection score based on responses to a single question. The question is along the lines of “Did you feel like your barista got to know you?” Many times managers force baristas to converse with people who obviously don’t want to. I’m sorry you felt that way and had a bad experience, it’s unfortunately a situation where every side loses due to the extreme push by Starbucks. Next time conversation is pushed on to you, it may be useful to just say that you would prefer not to talk as you are a rather private person. Please do apologize to that barista though, that overly upbeat attitude they have most likely helps carry them through their day and spread joy to others. Personally, I do the same thing, although I don’t converse very well and will just compliment people!
Unfortunately, Starbucks pushes us to get to learn about our customers, and gives us a customer connection score based on responses to a single question. The question is along the lines of “Did you feel like your barista got to know you?” Many times managers force baristas to converse with people who obviously don’t want to. I’m sorry you felt that way and had a bad experience, it’s unfortunately a situation where every side loses due to the extreme push by Starbucks. Next time conversation is pushed on to you, it may be useful to just say that you would prefer not to talk as you are a rather private person. Please do apologize to that barista though, that overly upbeat attitude they have most likely helps carry them through their day and spread joy to others. Personally, I do the same thing, although I don’t converse very well and will just compliment people!
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
I love this perspective!
It’s unfortunate that corporate is so out of touch that they try to force attitudes into their employees. I for one appreciate genuine encounters and when I come across something that doesn’t feel right it makes me uncomfortable. But now I know that Starbucks forces this and I can appreciate his efforts even though they weren’t met gracefully. Rest assured I am going to apologize.
Thanks for sharing
It’s unfortunate that corporate is so out of touch that they try to force attitudes into their employees. I for one appreciate genuine encounters and when I come across something that doesn’t feel right it makes me uncomfortable. But now I know that Starbucks forces this and I can appreciate his efforts even though they weren’t met gracefully. Rest assured I am going to apologize.
Thanks for sharing
dekumacchiato 1 points 1y ago
EXACTLY HOW YOU JUST SAID IT.. don’t think about it too much
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 11 points 1y ago
Thank you all for the feedback. I am going to write this man an apology card and take him to lunch. Or offer at least
If my confession to a room full of baristas is any indication, I am not a miserable jerk, I have a heart and I feel bad about how it went down. I didn’t realize that the customer connection thing was pushed on you guys so hard and that sounds awful.
I don’t want this man’s spirit to be broken, I just felt he was being invasive and I felt like I had a right to push back against that invasiveness a little bit but perhaps I went to far.
If my confession to a room full of baristas is any indication, I am not a miserable jerk, I have a heart and I feel bad about how it went down. I didn’t realize that the customer connection thing was pushed on you guys so hard and that sounds awful.
I don’t want this man’s spirit to be broken, I just felt he was being invasive and I felt like I had a right to push back against that invasiveness a little bit but perhaps I went to far.
Struggling05 7 points 1y ago
I think your heart is in the right place (now obviously, you were absolutely TA before), but I wouldn’t even ask him to lunch. It could come across really not great, maybe stick to giving him a gift card if you want to be spending money?
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 2 points 1y ago
Thanks for your input. I’ll stick to a card.
Saltiboi08 8 points 1y ago
YTA, but…
Honestly, I genuinely think this is a 2 way street. I’m very similar as a barista in that I try to be very friendly and talkative with the people that come into my store. However, I do believe some sensitivity is in order when it comes to striking up conversations. If you feel as if the other person is only responding with one word answers or isn’t engaged, maybe that’s a clue that you should ease off the super friendly STARBUCKS EXPERIENCE voice and style of interaction. Some people just don’t want to talk, and that’s okay. This barista probably should have seen that op didn’t want to be talked to and eased off.
Op, you sounded like a dick for sure. There are a thousand ways to make what you wanted to say nicer, like “Sorry, I’m not much of a talker, I’d prefer if we kept the conversation to a minimum”, or “Hey, sorry, don’t usually feel like talking. I just wanna get my coffee, thank you though.” A lot of us are overworked and underpaid, so the only way a lot of us can feel good about our jobs is by trying to make people’s days just the tiniest bit better. Everyone deserves respect, and I’m sure if op was a little nicer, they would’ve gotten their point across without sounding like a dick. So I definitely believe an apology is in order, but that doesn’t mean op can’t still ask to be left alone.
Honestly, I genuinely think this is a 2 way street. I’m very similar as a barista in that I try to be very friendly and talkative with the people that come into my store. However, I do believe some sensitivity is in order when it comes to striking up conversations. If you feel as if the other person is only responding with one word answers or isn’t engaged, maybe that’s a clue that you should ease off the super friendly STARBUCKS EXPERIENCE voice and style of interaction. Some people just don’t want to talk, and that’s okay. This barista probably should have seen that op didn’t want to be talked to and eased off.
Op, you sounded like a dick for sure. There are a thousand ways to make what you wanted to say nicer, like “Sorry, I’m not much of a talker, I’d prefer if we kept the conversation to a minimum”, or “Hey, sorry, don’t usually feel like talking. I just wanna get my coffee, thank you though.” A lot of us are overworked and underpaid, so the only way a lot of us can feel good about our jobs is by trying to make people’s days just the tiniest bit better. Everyone deserves respect, and I’m sure if op was a little nicer, they would’ve gotten their point across without sounding like a dick. So I definitely believe an apology is in order, but that doesn’t mean op can’t still ask to be left alone.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon -5 points 1y ago
Thank you for this comment.
I promise you he ignored my body language leading up to my comment.
It’s never ok to be an asshat and I plan on redeeming my self with an apology but he really could have taken two seconds to read me and known that I wasn’t interested in engaging.
I promise you he ignored my body language leading up to my comment.
It’s never ok to be an asshat and I plan on redeeming my self with an apology but he really could have taken two seconds to read me and known that I wasn’t interested in engaging.
Saltiboi08 1 points 1y ago
Hopefully it’ll be a learning experience for them too!
icedcarfee 6 points 1y ago
very rude.
Familiar_Creme_6974 2 points 1y ago
Well, keeping in mind that corporate pushes us to ask these kinds of questions and “connect” with the customers, and if we don’t then we all get in trouble etc, I can pretty much confirm he was just trying to do his job. I can also pretty much confirm he didn’t really want to know and was probably just as uncomfortable as you. Honestly, if it were me I would’ve just ignored him. We usually get the message pretty quick but tbh if he was being pushy you did the right thing.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
Ignoring seems harsh but I did try to signal that I wasn’t into the exchange and he kept going. I still feel I overreacted but there was a pushy ness for sure.
Familiar_Creme_6974 1 points 1y ago
Eh. If it made you uncomfortable then you didn’t over react. Actually, I’m not sure if it would do anything, but feel free to e-mail corporate Starbucks (without saying the name or store of the barista so they don’t get in trouble for doing what they’re asked to) and explicitly say that their customer connection policy makes you uncomfortable. They seem to think that people actually care but my developing theory is that we all just want to drink coffee and go in with our day/jobs.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
I didn’t feel like I overreacted until I saw his face after I said it and I knew I went too far. I hurt his feelings when all that was necessary was me saying that I wasn’t super comfortable answering all the questions. Hopefully he will appreciate the apology and the universal balance of karma can be restored in the universe.
Familiar_Creme_6974 1 points 1y ago
That’s fair. I have a really sensitive coworker who’s also really rambunctious and kinda oblivious. They would probably do the same thing in this situation. Some people are genuinely tryna make your day better, but it can definitely be intrusive
Frosty-Shelter7372 2 points 1y ago
I promise you he has no interest in you or your interests, we are forced to make conversation to “connect” with customers while their order is being made. I’m sure he would have much rather shut the window and said nothing. You owe him an apology
glooomyclone4077 2 points 1y ago
as a barista at a connection driven store this was rude, my boss will hover over my neck and make sure i’m connecting so we generally feel a great amount of pressure to make small talk and it’s honestly not always easy and sometimes we come off as being too invasive but you should definitely apologize
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
As a customer we have no idea there’s an invisible gun at your back to make small talk. That’s unfortunate and I feel for you guys and gals. But I don’t think pushing back was out of line I just think I went too far
To be clear when he asked how I was doing I smiled and said good and totally kept it friendly. It wasn’t until he kept going and getting more and more personal that I felt uncomfortable. The next question was what are you doing today and I was caught off guard but shrugged my head and mumbled not much. Then he asked what sort of things do I like to do and I was totally off the ledge at that point because he hadn’t picked up on any of my body language during the last question.
I will of course apologize and let him know that I appreciate him.
To be clear when he asked how I was doing I smiled and said good and totally kept it friendly. It wasn’t until he kept going and getting more and more personal that I felt uncomfortable. The next question was what are you doing today and I was caught off guard but shrugged my head and mumbled not much. Then he asked what sort of things do I like to do and I was totally off the ledge at that point because he hadn’t picked up on any of my body language during the last question.
I will of course apologize and let him know that I appreciate him.
rina_m 2 points 1y ago
lmao holy shit i thought you were a barista talking about a creepy customer. find a new store honestly
FfierceLaw 1 points 1y ago
I’m sorry you’re going through this and applaud your decision to apologize. Our training actually tells us to respect the signals from a customer who doesn’t want to engage but unfortunately we have some ham handed boob managers (one was probably listening in to the partner you spoke to) who ignore the whole message. Please let the corporation know that you disagree with this pounding on young partners to “get to know” customers 1-800-STARBUC or chat through the app
fawnaluna 1 points 1y ago
yeah you should apologize… we get in trouble for not talking to customers and something like this genuinely would’ve ruined my day. it’s pretty easy to just give short answers or look at your phone and usually they’ll get the memo you don’t wanna talk but don’t snap at the person who’s just trying to do their job…
chinksauces 1 points 1y ago
i skimmed the first paragraph and honestly i didn’t need to read past it to know yta.
just because you’re hungry, annoyed, mad at something unrelated etc, doesn’t mean you can lash out on others. this is basic communication and called small talk. if you haven’t learned this then do so. or maybe just mobile order?
i recon you haven’t worked in customer service before. if you have then idk, sorry you can’t relate.
also the reason why it’s he’s being so friendly is because we’re forced to make “customer connections.” either way uhhh yeah, learn to be an adult ggs.
just because you’re hungry, annoyed, mad at something unrelated etc, doesn’t mean you can lash out on others. this is basic communication and called small talk. if you haven’t learned this then do so. or maybe just mobile order?
i recon you haven’t worked in customer service before. if you have then idk, sorry you can’t relate.
also the reason why it’s he’s being so friendly is because we’re forced to make “customer connections.” either way uhhh yeah, learn to be an adult ggs.
ThyKingToker 1 points 1y ago
I would say yes. We push connection at my Starbucks and I have a check list of things people gotta ask because it’s the stuff that shows up on the customer survey report that judges how good of a store we are.
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
ThyKingToker 1 points 1y ago
I would say yes. We push connection at my Starbucks and I have a check list of things people gotta ask because it’s the stuff that shows up on the customer survey report that judges how good of a store we are.
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
ThyKingToker 1 points 1y ago
I would say yes. We push connection at my Starbucks and I have a check list of things people gotta ask because it’s the stuff that shows up on the customer survey report that judges how good of a store we are.
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
Question 1 is “Did your barista get you know you today”
So if they aren’t asking about your shit they haven’t even done job 1 of getting a good customer service score. Dudes just trying to be good at his job.
Probably deserves an apology
ImpressionMammoth 1 points 1y ago
We’re forced to talk to customers like that. If you’re not into it, the third place isn’t for you. YTA FR
[deleted] [OP] 1 points 1y ago
[deleted]
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
I enjoy conversations but not pushy ones with people that don’t pay attention to how I’m feeling. I’m not making him out to be a creep, he seems like a jolly fellow but I definitely felt uncomfortable when the personal questions kept coming after I had already signaled that I wasn’t into the exchange. But still I appreciate your input. Cheers
Necessary_Low939 1 points 1y ago
You do owe him an apology and may a personal tip would be nice. Whether he takes it it’s up to him.
Whether he’s fake or not he’s just doing his job. He probably doesn’t even care what you say but the policy is to make connections to customers and not just a grab and go store. I personally don’t do connections and had been told I need to more whether it’s I’m working on ur drink or how’s ur day going. Baristas can get fired for not smiling at customers (true story and the sm was being an ass) let alone connections. This man is just doing his job and if he’s fake, he’s faking for his job for a minimum wage. And what if he really meant it but just sound fake? U just bursted his bubble. U could’ve just say fine thanks works is annoying or I’m hungry and he would probably leave it as that.
Whether he’s fake or not he’s just doing his job. He probably doesn’t even care what you say but the policy is to make connections to customers and not just a grab and go store. I personally don’t do connections and had been told I need to more whether it’s I’m working on ur drink or how’s ur day going. Baristas can get fired for not smiling at customers (true story and the sm was being an ass) let alone connections. This man is just doing his job and if he’s fake, he’s faking for his job for a minimum wage. And what if he really meant it but just sound fake? U just bursted his bubble. U could’ve just say fine thanks works is annoying or I’m hungry and he would probably leave it as that.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
How’s your day going and smiling is totally normal and appreciated and I reciprocated up to that point. After he asked how k was doing it got more and more personal and awkward and I felt he wasn’t paying attention to my body language and just pushing on with the questions and it made me uncomfortable. I am still going to apologize because I definitely overreacted but it’s not as if he wasn’t being pushy.
Necessary_Low939 1 points 1y ago
Read my edits in my reply if u haven’t done so 👍
Necessary_Low939 1 points 1y ago
So just say ah a bit annoying but I don’t wanna talk about it, sorry. Or it’s great/not bad! I’m in a hurry tho!
I’m sure he’s not prying. Usually baristas leave it as how’s ur day going and what’s happening and that’s it.
As for what are u up to. Just say work. And if he asked further just say I’m in a hurry.
I personally don’t think u have to write a card or give a gift card or take him to lunch or dinner that’s fcken extreme like what the others are saying. Sorry not sorry, others can downvote me. If u wanna mind ur own business taking him to lunch is crazy. A friendly tip in the jar would be nice enough.
Edit: I think u can just apologize to him in person and give him a tip. Edit 2: some also are dense and cannot read body language. Just saying.
I’m sure he’s not prying. Usually baristas leave it as how’s ur day going and what’s happening and that’s it.
As for what are u up to. Just say work. And if he asked further just say I’m in a hurry.
I personally don’t think u have to write a card or give a gift card or take him to lunch or dinner that’s fcken extreme like what the others are saying. Sorry not sorry, others can downvote me. If u wanna mind ur own business taking him to lunch is crazy. A friendly tip in the jar would be nice enough.
Edit: I think u can just apologize to him in person and give him a tip. Edit 2: some also are dense and cannot read body language. Just saying.
MonkeyBoy2TheMoon 1 points 1y ago
Thanks I appreciate your input. I think your right, Lunch may be too much. But an apology is definitely in order.
Necessary_Low939 1 points 1y ago
That’s great! He will understand. U can explain I don’t like to talk about my life in general. It’s a me problem not you. And I forced my anger when ure only trying to be nice and doing ur job on, it was my fault. I’m Sorry. 👍👍
MathSmooth4506 1 points 1y ago
Yikes …
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