Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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My male coworker is weird to me and it makes me really uncomfortable (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by secretusertime
This is a throwaway account but anyways. One of my coworkers works 40 hour weeks and sometimes OT so I see him basically ever shift. He is also a SSV so that compounds how often i see him. I’m pretty sure he is interested in me and it makes me incredibly uncomfortable. I am pretty young (not a minor but still one of the youngest people at my store) and he is at least 30 if not a little older. The other day he touched my shoulder and it made my skin crawl out of my body. Whenever i’m clocking out and he is staying, he always hangs around me as i’m leaving and drops whatever he is doing to say bye to me and give me a high five (never seen him do this to my coworkers). He knows I am young and that I am in a committed and stable relationship.
I’m worried i’m overreacting and that he might just be being nice to me, but regardless I feel sorta freaked out when I work with him (which is often) and thinking about working with him makes me sick and dread going into work. I don’t really know what to do? Is this my fault?
I’m worried i’m overreacting and that he might just be being nice to me, but regardless I feel sorta freaked out when I work with him (which is often) and thinking about working with him makes me sick and dread going into work. I don’t really know what to do? Is this my fault?
Normal_Human_4567 18 points 1y ago
Best case scenario, it could be he sees your age and wants to make sure you feel comfortable at your store.
Worst case, he's creeping on you.
Either way, your feekings are valid! I'd mention it to him if you feel comfortable, or to another supervisor/manager. Just say "hey, I get that he's just trying to be nice, but X and Y actions are making me a little uncomfortable"
Worst case, he's creeping on you.
Either way, your feekings are valid! I'd mention it to him if you feel comfortable, or to another supervisor/manager. Just say "hey, I get that he's just trying to be nice, but X and Y actions are making me a little uncomfortable"
idkcassie 5 points 1y ago
agree with this.
best case, he’s someone who doesn’t realize his over friendliness makes you uncomfortable. worst case he’s a creep.
next time he touches you with your permission I’d honestly straight up say “I would prefer if you didn’t touch me without my permission, please.” had to do this with a few guys at my store who would try to give hugs that i didn’t want. I’d straight up take a step back and tell them, following up most of the time with “I just don’t really like being touched when I don’t choose to be.” (not because you should have to give them a reason, but because I’m a small woman and I wanted to be as amicable as possible to lessen the chances of them being upset/angry for safety reasons)
most of the time it worked first try. if it didn’t, I continued doing it until they got it.
bless his heart, i had a coworker who didn’t understand personal boundaries. this was not because he ignored them, he genuinely didn’t understand nonverbal queues. but he’s one of the sweetest guys i’ve ever met — i had to do this a few times, and when he got it, instead of going for a hug he would offer me fist bumps. it made me happy that he respected me & adapted his own actions to respect my boundaries.
best case, he’s someone who doesn’t realize his over friendliness makes you uncomfortable. worst case he’s a creep.
next time he touches you with your permission I’d honestly straight up say “I would prefer if you didn’t touch me without my permission, please.” had to do this with a few guys at my store who would try to give hugs that i didn’t want. I’d straight up take a step back and tell them, following up most of the time with “I just don’t really like being touched when I don’t choose to be.” (not because you should have to give them a reason, but because I’m a small woman and I wanted to be as amicable as possible to lessen the chances of them being upset/angry for safety reasons)
most of the time it worked first try. if it didn’t, I continued doing it until they got it.
bless his heart, i had a coworker who didn’t understand personal boundaries. this was not because he ignored them, he genuinely didn’t understand nonverbal queues. but he’s one of the sweetest guys i’ve ever met — i had to do this a few times, and when he got it, instead of going for a hug he would offer me fist bumps. it made me happy that he respected me & adapted his own actions to respect my boundaries.
Necessary_Low939 1 points 1y ago
I think u posted about this before or maybe I read something eerily similar. Be upfront with him say I’m sorry but I don’t like physical contact
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