Just hate the sweeties, huns, and babies I get from men 🤢

not a female partner but non-binary. i’m in the south so i get it’s a respect thing and i do it to other people too. i understand it but like i hate it. even when i do my deepest voice in dte, they hit me with the ma’am

I was talking with some of my coworkers about this a few days ago actually. It does bother me, as a trans NB, but.. i know who i am, and they only see me for however long they’re in the store for. It took me damn long enough to get to where i am today for me to let someone I’ll never see again dictate how i view myself.
At the end of the day there are going to be things we cannot change about others, and being in TX, that’s very much one of those ingrained things that are involved in the respectability game people play here. If they see me as something I’m not, so be it. They think I’m a polite and nice/good person anyways and neither of those is true so ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

some old guy called me kid the other day and I strangely loved it. im just so sick of being called sweetie and hun by creepy 60 y/o men

For all my southern pals, I’m so sorry. In the north it’s not nearly as common and my store a lot of the customers are good about knowing our names and getting to know us. Generally speaking, when people use sir/ma’am up here it’s the way they were brought up to be polite and so I take it with a grain of salt. I hate it but I know for them it’s their manners. Either that or they’re deliberately being rude and they can fuck off.

Well as a dude, I say ma'am all the time. But I'm in the south. I also call men sir

northeast partner here. generally younger and constantly patronized. given I'm in my two weeks, every "sweetheart" and "dear" will be met with its match.

I call the customers both but I live in the south and to me it seems normal. I don’t however address men as *mister* but I will say *sir.* My only motivation is to be polite but that has a lot to do with my age and what was considered polite back in the 1900’s, that century in which I was born. I usually don’t give a gender identifier if I think perhaps I’ll get it wrong. So I don’t mind anyone calling me Miss or Mz or ma’am. I did piss off a much older lady saying yes ma’am. She wasn’t having it.

I understand people’s discomfort w/ this but where I’m from it is far ruder to NOT call someone by ma’am or sir, and to a lesser degree miss. In a service environment as a customer everyone in the vicinity would hate me if I didn’t say it and if they didn’t my mom would if she ever found out haha. I’m from the south of USA and as a result my vocabulary often includes calling people around me “hon” or “dear” a lot, but as I’m a young woman coming from me it’s a lot less creepy than an older man.

You can typically tell who is being creepy and who is being polite. Older men are often being creepy unfortunately. Just giving my perspective too.

since i’m cisgender i don’t mind it if that’s how they talk. we always have this one regular that says “thank you ma’am/sir” at the end of his order. if anything, specifically being referred to as “ma’am” just makes me feel older than i am which is weird.

I'm nonbinary but my voice sounds feminine so I get hit with it all the time and I hate it 🤬. It's a topic of discussion at the store and it's universally hated, even among our partners who are girls.

I take them as neutral terms. I'd cringe at being called "m'lady", though, since it's hella inappropriate to call a female stranger your lady.

femme enby here- i hate it. m’lady is the worst because it’s always the type of guy that pretends to be an ally and is actually just a douche.

I am a cis female and it does irk me to get called "ma'am", "miss," or "hun" or anything like that. I also don't like when they call me by my name either lol. Like, I don't know you. I have never been called "m'lady" though. I would rather they just say, "thank you" and leave it at that. There's no need for the extra salutation. And usually if I get called, "sweetie" it's by a Karen who's complaining about something.

As a cis female, I used to get annoyed but I truly don’t have the energy to be upset about it every time it happens. The same thing goes for people calling me sweetheart, hun, etc, I have coworkers who’ll be like “eww!” and yeah it’s icky but I can’t waste energy on caring about it. I definitely don’t use miss, ma’am, sir, boss, etc, on customers or fellow partners though as you never know who is and isn’t cis. I completely understand why people would get upset over gendered terms, especially when the wrong terms get used.

as a female partner, it does make me uncomfortable to be called sweetheart, honey, darling, baby, etc, especially by older men. it’s just creepy. when it’s ma’am it bothers me a little, but i understand it’s out of respect and it’s very common in the place i live for people to say yes ma’am/sir or no ma’am/sir.
one of my coworkers however is non-binary, but has a feminine sounding voice, and they receive a lot of ‘yes ma’am’ that makes them uncomfortable. they try to make their voice deeper to avoid it, but it doesn’t usually matter. i’ll usually take over for them on DTO if it happens to many times in a short time because it does start to affect their mood, understandably.

I am nonbianary, mostly fem presenting and afab, yes it’s the bane of my existence ☹️

Nobody knows bc I’m pretty much closeted. But i still really dislike it, I never ever use miss or ma’am to strangers, I don’t like it. My manager literally calls me “miss ma’am” 🤢

Female here and identify as such. I LOATHE ma'am
Edit a word

Old men calling me ma'am or miss? Bleh. Young kids? Adorable they can call me whatever they want any day of the week.

I would love to be called m’lady. Lol!

TBH i hate it. being called ma’am/air isn’t as common where i am, so no one really uses them except the elderly. every time i hear the word “ma’am!” it’s a high chance i’m about to get screamed at over some bullshit $9 drink.

i’m nonbinary but present fem, most of my partners just think i’m a woman, and we have a newer shift who calls everyone maam. i asked him to stop calling me that bc it makes me uncomfy and he said “well i’m saying it as a sign of respect” bro it’s not respect if i asked u not to. as for customers it doesn’t bother me as much, even if i get a bad vibe from them i just tell myself i hopefully won’t see them again, or at least not often enough for it to be an issue, but yeah it rubs me the wrong way for sure

Female partner here, I hate being ma’am but I dont mind miss too much. On the other hand though if someone called me m’lady it would easily be come the highlight of my day. Like “yes peasant customer I dont care if you’re drink is wrong, go away” 😂

dfab enby and i'm so tired of it. i'll call clearly older male customers "sir" because i'm in the south and "manners" are king here but oh my god i'm so exhausted.

"ma'am" and "miss" are like... tolerable compared to the clearly grown-\*ss people with kids that call me "honey" or "sweetie" or "babe" (yes, seriously) especially the guys though

I understand this from the opposite side. When people call me ‘sir’ at the register, it irks me. 98% of the time I let it slide but if they call me sir more than once, I am quick to correct them. We have name tags for reason and if they can’t read, that’s their problem.

That being said, it’s SBUX which requires us partners to be the bigger person. I can’t take it out customers for making mistakes addressing me.

[PNW where sir/ma'am is a vague respect thing rather than an ingrained culture]

To me ma'am is fine, miss is a bit patronizing (i look young) but better than sweetheart/dear/darling... and tbh I'd even take those over a customer using my name. Like I don't know you, who told you you could read my nametag.

i’m non binary but yeah i hate it. it’s gross and makes me feel uncomfortable no matter who says it