So I’m 2 weeks into my Starbucks barista journey. Being a barista recently became a dream career of mine. Being behind that counter, interacting with customers, making drinks, being very busy, and working together with a team, that sounds so meaningful and I was to succeed and get to that point so so badly!

But I knew it was a risk diving into Starbucks, knowing that I didn’t really know much about coffee until recently, and my severe social anxiety as well as my severe ADHD possibly effecting my job performance. But I also wanted to peruse my dream (or at least how being a barista looked as an outsider.

Things were going pretty well the first week, and on the second day, I had this great meeting with my supervisor, where I asked her good questions about the job and about my anxiety and the importance of building good relationships with her and my coworkers. But then, at the end of the meeting, she said something to me that really really worried me. She said “one things that gets coworkers annoyed is when a barista stops progressing and ends up making the same mistakes and asking the same questions over and over”. My heart sank. But I was hopeful that things would work themselves out, and that I wouldn’t turn into a barista trainee who wants to be perfect and make no mistakes at all out of fear that he may make his coworkers impatient with him.

Well, a couple of weeks later, I’ve largely fallen into the mindset that i have always dreaded : wanting to be perfect all the time and not “keep making those dumb mistakes you keep and making and having to ask the same old shit over and over”.

I haven’t developed good relationships with my coworkers yet. I feel really anxious and I went into a panick attack when I was on hot bar yesterday, when I was getting relatively complex orders, and trying to battle my ADHD and worry about give perhaps giving a lactose intolerant customer the standard 2% milk (hasn’t happened yet but those kind of attention lapses are a constant battle)

Early on I asked a lot of great questions and tried to fully understand the orders and the values of the company. I was doing really well my first week. But I also have been thinking while on hot and cold bar “why the hell would they be putting me on this role unsupervised when I’ve literally only done this like 2 or 3 times”.

But over the past week, Asking questions and seeking advice has gotten a lot harder for me to do. I am terrified of becoming that type of person my supervisor described at the end of our meeting. It’s been running through my head constantly while on hot and cold bar (I love warming by the way, because I’m good at it like everyone). But I just hope for the love of sake that the best ticket that out of the printer will be something basic like a latte or mocha. But when a more complex order comes out, like a brown sugar oat espresso, WHICH DOESNT EVEN SAY IT NEEDS TO BE SHAKEN ON THE TICKET!! Or the frappes, omg those things are confusing. My chest starts burning from the stress and anxiety from those.

I thought about posting this in r anxiety because this is more of a mental health issue than a barista issue, but I’m just desperate to share this because I’m keeping it a secret from all my coworkers. So I’m in a pretty dire state now. I’m catastrophizing, and thinking about quitting. I may also be totally delusional and overreacting. But I still have some hope that I can power through all the anguish and make it to my dream job.

So I was wondering if you guys have any advice for me or any other barista who feels like their progress has stalled? And are there any helpful websites or videos for like barista homework studying?

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!