The best though, was when she told me she’s a really nice person. So, the scene: 8:30, her and her husband strolled in 5 minutes ago and I’ve already prepared and delivered their drinks. Husband is at the end of the bar adding more and more sugar packets. There are about 5 parties of people, already served, who have ignored my SSV’s 10 minute warning. My SSV is standing at the main door so she can lock it when they leave. I walk to the end of the bar and say “goodnight,” while waving and smiling underneath my mask, hoping to hasten the departure of all parties. This woman locks eyes with me and asks “is there a problem?” The Karen is already starting to seep from her skin, her eyes tinge lizard like and her tongue forks but I say, jocularly, “we’re closing, it’s 8:30.” She says something about just getting there, she has never, I’m so rude, how dare I. What’s my name, I’m not a manager, am I? Where is my manager? Demands to see the manager (I gesture to my SSV standing at the door, waiting patiently for all these fools to leave, who says “I didn’t hear her say anything, we’re closing,” because she’s a great SSV and has my back.) That’s just not how you talk to people, (my name), don’t I know that? She knows, because she’s the nicest person, as she tells me. She has never. This is outrageous. Her husband needs more sugar. Why am I yelling at her? I’m so awful, refers to me by name again, I’m so rude. And I yelled at her! This is an outrage. Why am I yelling? She has just never. Harrumph. She thinks she should be refunded, she’s going to call corporate. Her husband just stirs and stirs, trying to make the grown up drink palatable. For those scoring at home, my statements were “goodnight. We’re closing. It’s 8:30. I’m sorry.” I walked away at that point but whatever she said after made my SSV say “text me when you get home, they’re still across the street and your bike is parked right there.”