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Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind

r/starbucksbaristas

Full History - 2022 - 05 - 02 - ID#ugtdus

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335

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Idk about y’all, but I drop a nuclear bomb in the bathroom every shift (self.starbucksbaristas)

submitted by theWaterHermit

My coworkers know the drill by now. Everyday, about an hour into the morning shift, I grab a sanitizer wipe on my way out (for the seat), and proceed to absolutely assault the bathroom

CriticalSheep 176 points 1y ago

Sounds about right. Whenever I'd work open with my SM, he'd start the shift by disappearing into the bathroom for 15 minutes. I'd do the same about an hour into the shift. It was like a ritual. We didn't care.

theWaterHermit [OP] 113 points 1y ago

It’s funny, when one of us goes to the bathroom, it starts an unspoken chain reaction where we all start taking turns. That brown sugar shaken espresso keeps things loose

& Happy cake day!

CriticalSheep 51 points 1y ago

>That brown sugar shaken espresso keeps things loose

While I laughed hysterically at this, it's also completely true. There's something about the espresso there... I never had that issue when I wasn't on the clock.

& Thank you!

theWaterHermit [OP] 36 points 1y ago

Lmao, maybe it’s a combination of the espresso and the latent physical stress of being at work

[deleted] 9 points 1y ago

Also the dehydration

zooteed 7 points 1y ago

its actually your bowel movement!! its the same thing that happens when you walk your dog, ever notice when u just let your dog outside and they pee maybe take a shit ? and then when u walk them they be shitting everyother corner. its because they are moving!

fookyall 86 points 1y ago

Just make sure you stayed clocked in

theWaterHermit [OP] 150 points 1y ago

I never commit war crimes off the clock

ItzBoogieMan 13 points 1y ago

That way, Starbucks gets shit for it too

copicking 80 points 1y ago

Somehow shitting on the clock physically feels better too

bobduncansdick 69 points 1y ago

my boss makes a dollar, and i make a dime. that's why i shit, on company time.

theWaterHermit [OP] 24 points 1y ago

Honestly though, and afterwards, everything just feels a little bit lighter

cringeqween13 51 points 1y ago

You can't offer an unlimited supply of flavored laxatives (coffee) and expect your employees to not need to shit

[deleted] 45 points 1y ago

Nah dude it’s just how it rolls in the coffee shop.
I come in drink my trenta water. (Open the store)
5am. Drink my tall blonde roast.
6:10sharp take my deuce.

It’s like clock work

Decapp_ 35 points 1y ago

It’s the nitro bombs in the morning for us 😳

ramielpilled 12 points 1y ago

boss makes a dollar i make a dime, thats why i shit my organs out on company time 🙏💯

Ittaintright 12 points 1y ago

My favorite part of opening is right before peak when everyone who drank too much nitro takes turns stepping off the line to utterly destroy the bathroom

rjflorezzz1224 12 points 1y ago

The iced matcha with oat milk be hitting different 😫

aspiringgrandpa 9 points 1y ago

i wish i could do this but i’m so bathroom shy that i can’t even pee at work unless i’m bursting at the seams 😭

Lasagan 5 points 1y ago

That sounds like a nightmare

aspiringgrandpa 1 points 1y ago

low key it is 😭

theWaterHermit [OP] 3 points 1y ago

I used to be extremely against public bathrooms, like I would always hold it ‘til I could get home, but after working at Starbucks and routinely having to go so much, i just had to accept it. Now, I walk into that bathroom like I own the place

aspiringgrandpa 1 points 1y ago

i’m not even grossed out i’m just shy 🙈 😭😭

heygirlhowyoubean 2 points 1y ago

I just straight up don’t want to use the same bathroom as customers, but after getting a UTI doing that, I just sanitize as much as I can before going 😭

BabyH1ppo 8 points 1y ago

6am everyday :)

nickshabro 5 points 1y ago

This is the way

ItzBoogieMan 5 points 1y ago

I’ve probably taken 2 shits in public bathrooms in my entire life

FrozeKirby 5 points 1y ago

shitting on company time

OrderedMyLaughOnEbay 5 points 1y ago

Same exact thing, ngl

Fantastic1357 4 points 1y ago

How do we go about getting poo pourri for employees?

breeeeeeeeee3 3 points 1y ago

Buy a bottle. Keep it in the back room- with the bathroom cleaning supplies or in your drawer. Tell all the partners so they can use it.

MiaLedger 4 points 1y ago

NSFW XD

Brief_Coat6526 3 points 1y ago

Especially after one of my fellow partners clean it for me before hand

OrderedMyLaughOnEbay 2 points 1y ago

For anybody wondering, the deleted reply all the way at the bottom with only 40 downvotes was somebody claiming she worked with a guy who didn’t know she was the owner who gave all the numbers to basically say he got paid a week every year for shitting, saying how proud he was until she fired him. She wasn’t very nice about it.

theWaterHermit [OP] 1 points 1y ago

Right. Even if that guy was taking 30 minutes in the bathroom each day, he probably did more work/generated more profit than the owner on a given day, and definitely still made less than she did.

Source: our owner brews a pot of coffee each morning, pours a cup, then dips

SlippingStar 2 points 1y ago

[*cackles in undiagnosed bowel issue*]

Ohyanoforsure 2 points 1y ago

LOLLOOOLLLLL

sakuramads 2 points 1y ago

Every day after I do all my shift stuff and give my two openers their tens.... ever single time 🤣

Temporary_Syllabub46 1 points 1y ago

They will ask where you are in the group chat at my store.

theWaterHermit [OP] 1 points 1y ago

I would reply with, “shiddin”

xoMisaa 1 points 1y ago

My boyfriend does this. The amount of times he’s snapped me on the toilet during his shift saying “taking a shit on company time right now and it reminded me of you❤️🌈” is insane.

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