Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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17
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customer connections (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by irenenitaaa
so like i have very bad social anxiety to the point that i was diagnosed with it as well & get put on window a lot. i can do the whole “hi your total is blah blah blah” but recently they’ve been trying to push me to talk more for our customer connections & it’s literally so hard for me to try to make conversation with a lot of people. by the end of the day my social battery is always like empty & most of the time when i talk to our customers it’s so awkward for me cause i really don’t know what to ask or some just don’t feel like really talking back lol what do y’all personally ask customers to make conversation (: ? and does anyone also have this problem lol i sometimes feel like it might just be me
nataliaSoLiA 15 points 1y ago
hi! i’m on the autism spectrum, so i understand! i typically ask about their day, make a comment about the drink (like “oh, i like that!” even if i don’t) or sometimes i comment on their shirt or something. best of luck!’
irenenitaaa [OP] 4 points 1y ago
thank you so much !! i’ll for sure start doing that more
Torirock10 12 points 1y ago
being on window is awful i literally just am there like 🧍 pls hurry with drink
diphenhydranautical 5 points 1y ago
yeah i’ve stopped trying to connect at this point, if i start a conversation with a customer i’ll let it happen but i definitely don’t go out of my way to do so. you can feel when customers just want to pay for their shit and leave. i’m just extremely polite, fast, and chipper and most customers seem to leave happy. thankfully they don’t give me too much shit about not connecting, but it’s because they usually only put me on window when they need window times to go down. lol
Torirock10 4 points 1y ago
yeah it’s awkward seeing them just staring at me the whole time like maam i’m sure ur great but i’m autistic
diphenhydranautical 1 points 1y ago
haha im also on the spectrum. i think that’s why the supervisors don’t bug me about it tbh
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
me too or sometimes i go off window to clean the counters on cold bar or restock some stuff as i wait like anything to avoid talking to the customers 😭😭
bynjns 5 points 1y ago
im the same exact way:( my shift leads were more on my ass abt greeting ppl and making the connections and i always just say ok every time even though i really dont do it ever bc im just not very outgoing. eventually they just stopped telling me lmao, but the other comments advice sounded helpful! i think also if u fee comfortably u should ask them to put u on window less
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
a few days ago they were on me abt it too and i said okay and didn’t do it and they kept telling me as the day went and eventually my store manager came up to me and asked if i was talking to our customers and i said no and she still didn’t take me off window LMFAO 😭😭 i love window just not when i’m being like forced to talk to every single customer haha
Mea-fae_Owl73 2 points 1y ago
My suggestions… asking what plans they got going on for the day and taking any cue from there (the more you do this the easier it will get picking up on cues), comment on an article of clothing or accessory, commenting on their order, if I just can’t find anything to talk about then I offer up something about myself. Sometimes a customer doesn’t want to talk and you will notice that vibe and that’s ok because you tried. It’s about connecting. If the customer doesn’t want to connect, we respect that.
I’ve been in the coffee industry for over two decades. I am EXTREMELY SHY and awkward. I get super nervous to the point that I shake big time. I was so quiet and introverted that I came off as stuck up or uninterested. My first coffee job a regular confided in me, a year into the job, that although I was sweet he didn’t think I was going to make it because of how shy and nervous I was. Being social was a skill I had to figure out. Today I still hate making conversations with strangers but I can do it thanks to my time with Starbucks. If I’m outside of work and I have to talk to strangers or people I’m not very acquainted with, I go into “Starbucks mode”.
I’ve been in the coffee industry for over two decades. I am EXTREMELY SHY and awkward. I get super nervous to the point that I shake big time. I was so quiet and introverted that I came off as stuck up or uninterested. My first coffee job a regular confided in me, a year into the job, that although I was sweet he didn’t think I was going to make it because of how shy and nervous I was. Being social was a skill I had to figure out. Today I still hate making conversations with strangers but I can do it thanks to my time with Starbucks. If I’m outside of work and I have to talk to strangers or people I’m not very acquainted with, I go into “Starbucks mode”.
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
yeah before starbucks i worked at a gas station and it helped learning how to talk to people more but after that i quit and was without work during the pandemic for like a year and didn’t really go out for that year as well cause the pandemic which made my social anxiety super worse so i’m slowly learning how to get out of my little shell again but sometimes it’s super hard haha
Mea-fae_Owl73 2 points 1y ago
I get it! Some days I think about other cultures and countries where it’s considered rude/nosey to ask questions not related to the service provided and think they have it right. But all in all I love my job.
Smallfemdom 3 points 1y ago
Icebreakers, complain about work, be sarcastic, ask how their day was, if they’re doing anything fun. It sucks when they don’t respond, it doesn’t mean they hate you, they’re just in the same shoes as you. Good luck <3
irenenitaaa [OP] 1 points 1y ago
thank you so much !!
RyusuiJL 3 points 1y ago
I don't have social anxiety, but I definitely consider myself a misanthrope. However, having worked the majority of my life in retail, I have learned how to fake it. I know that our partiuclar situations are very different - one being a preference and the other being an actual disorder of sorts. But I think maybe you can find a way to look at the situation that will make it work for you.
I knew someone who was really into drama/acting, and so would look at their job as a role in a play or movie. Doing thay made it incredibly easy for them to put on the "customer service" persona. Maybe that same method would work for you? Or perhaps looking at it like a game?
Hopefully you find a way to make it easier for you!
I knew someone who was really into drama/acting, and so would look at their job as a role in a play or movie. Doing thay made it incredibly easy for them to put on the "customer service" persona. Maybe that same method would work for you? Or perhaps looking at it like a game?
Hopefully you find a way to make it easier for you!
irenenitaaa [OP] 1 points 1y ago
haha sometimes i think abt it as one of those café barista games i used to play on cool math games !! lol
YslMarco 2 points 1y ago
If i said it once I’ve said it a million times fuck them hoe ass customers
ihateyousoymatcha 2 points 1y ago
I don't go out of my way if they're not interested in talking, but if they seem bored or open to conversation I'll ask about something I can see inside their car, or grumble about something I have to deal with or something funny my coworkers did/said.
turtleben248 2 points 1y ago
I usually ask how are you or how is your day going. And then when they ask me how I'm doing, I try to have something to say. Like I'm happy the sun is out
irenenitaaa [OP] 1 points 1y ago
thank you !!
bisexualgirlboss 2 points 1y ago
hi love! I’ve been with SB for a year and I am super Introverted and have bad anxiety as well!! personally me, I’m fortunate to have a great relationship with almost all of my shifts (they’re more active on the floor than the managers per se) and they know I’m super introverted and struggle to kind of help customer connection scores or they know I’m not the biggest fan with the social part. I’m a very common bar partner but personally I’d try to talk to your shifts or ask for pointers on that! I completely understand what you’re saying, absolutely bc most of the time I vibe well with customers and sometimes will spark conversation but not all the time because I don’t like forcing that bc it can be hella awkward tbh. Weirdly enough, I got a tattoo last month and had to wrap it up (just to be safe) and for some reason that, seemed to spark a lot of conversations last time I was in window!!
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
thank you !! they’ve been putting me on mornings shifts and both my store manager and shifts for those mornings don’t really like understand they just put me on window and keep pushing me to talk but for sure i want to try to ask for more mid shifts because those managers are nicer and understand more abt my social anxiety and how i struggle with just talking to people !! and haha i also sometimes cover my tattoo cause it sparks conversations as well !
bisexualgirlboss 2 points 1y ago
Completely valid! Regardless of who the shift is, definitely try to ask for pointers or just let them know about struggling to bump up customer connection scores! We all aren’t gonna be the same when it comes to social aspect and it doesn’t make you any less of a partner at all. The smallest things make a huge difference as well. When it comes to drink suggestions or people ordering stuff, I and a few other people try to suggest certain recipes or alternatives as well so don’t beat yourself up at all, you’re doing your best and nothing wrong with starting basic ofc :) best of luck to you <3
diphenhydranautical 2 points 1y ago
i have asd and i honestly just asked them to not put me in drive so frequently. i love barring, i just kinda zone out and let my hands guide themselves. it took me a while to get up to speed on bar but working nights helped me get lots of practice. i’ve explained to them that i work a second job and work a lot of doubles, and i have a very low social battery, and they’ve been flexible with me (only keeping me in drive for 2-3 hours max, asking what position(s) i feel up to today, etc). when advocating for yourself it helps to have a couple potential solutions to offer up, ive found that most people won’t go out of their way to help. so you gotta do the thinking for them sometimes. it’s really hard to speak up for yourself sometimes but i promise it’s worth it, and it helps your higher ups to know what’s going on with you. you don’t have to tell them *everything,* but just enough of an explanation that can help them work with you. it will not only benefit you but the team as a whole when you are most comfortable! good luck!! ❤️❤️
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
thank you so much !! i def have been more open to my store manager and shift managers abt my social anxiety and just anxiety in general so hopefully they take that into account
cmpunkybrewsters 2 points 1y ago
compliment something, it’s the easiest way to make some kind of conversation. it’s a nice thing to do and a lot of people love talking about themself. car, hair, their drink choice, anything. just say you like it even if you don’t, as someone said earlier lol. just an easy thing to say.
talking about the weather is also suuuper easy. weathers so nice today! or, wow the weather’s rough today, isn’t it? i know, weather small talk is pretty silly, but it’s easy and it works because everyone is experiencing it.
ex-barista with major anxiety here, so i know the struggle. i hated customer connections because they aren’t there to connect. the customer most likely doesn’t really want it either, so i’d try to keep it easy for the both of us lol
talking about the weather is also suuuper easy. weathers so nice today! or, wow the weather’s rough today, isn’t it? i know, weather small talk is pretty silly, but it’s easy and it works because everyone is experiencing it.
ex-barista with major anxiety here, so i know the struggle. i hated customer connections because they aren’t there to connect. the customer most likely doesn’t really want it either, so i’d try to keep it easy for the both of us lol
irenenitaaa [OP] 1 points 1y ago
thank you so much !!
violaaesthetic 2 points 1y ago
Lots of good suggestions about connecting here, but don’t be afraid to ask to be put in a different place or to move part way through your time on window. That’s what your play caller is for!
irenenitaaa [OP] 2 points 1y ago
thank you !!
Ordinary_Theory8534 1 points 1y ago
Before working at starbucks I was very introverted so I understand the feeling of being forced to do something you don’t feel comfortable doing. It takes time and practice! Ask about their day, their weekend, what plans they have, where are they headed, or my favorite thing to do is to give them a compliment! It will get easier the more you do it and the worst that could happen is they don’t respond? Just be kind to customers and show that you are attempting to connect with customers and they’ll back off!
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