I’m sorry you are having this experience! I tell green beans that it will take about two months for things to finally start to stick in the memory and six months for things to flow. Just know you are not a burden, we were all green beans at one time. Some of us get burnt over time too; no one stays perfect(ly roasted) at all times ( I had to go there sorry 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️😂😂😂).