Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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How To Not Feel Guilty Around Negative Older Coworkers, When They Think I Have No Problems? How to Handle Being Put on A Pedestal? (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by AvailableSlide7561
Ok so let me try to explain this. Something I always have trouble with, is when people put me on a pedestal when Im just being myself.
From the outside looking in, I understand why people put me there. I am young, I speak articulately, Im not ugly, Im getting my masters, Im mature/not petty or vindictive, Im also mild mannered/can be quiet, I don't really have any responsibilities outside of going to work part time and school, I have a very "she has her life organized" type of energy, most importantly Im a nice person with a positive aura. By no means perfect, I am very lucky/blessed but I also was taught how to work hard and I do. I understand how I appear to the outside world.
Sometimes when I go to work with people (adults) who have a lot more on their plate and who life hasn't been that kind too, I start to feel guilty when they put me on this pedestal. They see me going about my business and its like because of how I present my self, Im either treated like an alien, an angle or like I'm a problem child. Honestly if someone has a problem with me I generally don't care and will peacefully avoid them. But when people put me on a pedestal and say things like "wow your sooo happy", or "well you don't really have problems", or "I wish I could be upbeat like you", I get so tongue tied and don't know how to respond to this stuff. I don't enjoy the treatment, mostly because I suspect that when I leave the room there is much negative talk about me. It just makes me feel so weird and awkward because from my perspective Im not doing anything spectacular, but yet it's treated as something abnormal. Inside I think " SORRY Im not as miserable as the majority!".
I just want to come in do my job, collect my pay and get out. Im not interested in being perfect or making people feel inferior (without even really doing anything). Some of my coworkers are very negative people and make fun of my upbeat mannerisms. I don't like when they do this, but I don't want to get on anyones bad side and create an even more negative environment. Im a Starbucks Barista.
How does one handle this situation? Can anyone else relate? How do I not feel guilty/move on from these interactions?
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you so much.
From the outside looking in, I understand why people put me there. I am young, I speak articulately, Im not ugly, Im getting my masters, Im mature/not petty or vindictive, Im also mild mannered/can be quiet, I don't really have any responsibilities outside of going to work part time and school, I have a very "she has her life organized" type of energy, most importantly Im a nice person with a positive aura. By no means perfect, I am very lucky/blessed but I also was taught how to work hard and I do. I understand how I appear to the outside world.
Sometimes when I go to work with people (adults) who have a lot more on their plate and who life hasn't been that kind too, I start to feel guilty when they put me on this pedestal. They see me going about my business and its like because of how I present my self, Im either treated like an alien, an angle or like I'm a problem child. Honestly if someone has a problem with me I generally don't care and will peacefully avoid them. But when people put me on a pedestal and say things like "wow your sooo happy", or "well you don't really have problems", or "I wish I could be upbeat like you", I get so tongue tied and don't know how to respond to this stuff. I don't enjoy the treatment, mostly because I suspect that when I leave the room there is much negative talk about me. It just makes me feel so weird and awkward because from my perspective Im not doing anything spectacular, but yet it's treated as something abnormal. Inside I think " SORRY Im not as miserable as the majority!".
I just want to come in do my job, collect my pay and get out. Im not interested in being perfect or making people feel inferior (without even really doing anything). Some of my coworkers are very negative people and make fun of my upbeat mannerisms. I don't like when they do this, but I don't want to get on anyones bad side and create an even more negative environment. Im a Starbucks Barista.
How does one handle this situation? Can anyone else relate? How do I not feel guilty/move on from these interactions?
Any advice would be much appreciated. Thank you so much.
vineanddandy 7 points 11m ago
I think maybe it’s a “read the room” type of situation. It seems like maybe your coworkers have different/more challenges and stressful lives, and you might not completely understand their struggles. You don’t have to change anything about yourself, and you seem pretty happy with where you’re at. But trying to be sympathetic to their challenges instead of assuming they are putting you on a pedestal might help you guys connect better.
Necessary_Low939 1 points 11m ago
Do you talk about your masters or what you do a lot? I have 2 masters along with a career and came back to Starbucks for fun. However, I don’t talk about my other job. It even took them months before they knew about my other job. Some assume I make too little so I need an extra job, which is farther from the truth. For those who know they ask questions here and there but it’s not a full on convo either as I don’t like to talk about it too much.
undertoe776 1 points 11m ago
I would joke about the thousands I spent on therapy and coaching to get here.....or that the smile comes from a dedicated 3 hour yoga meditation session before every shift. ..orrr you should see my amazon purchase of weekly sage. Botox cheek injections...im not really smiling. ...
Everyone has life struggles and while dealing withe them the size of the next person's is irrelevant.
If you don't like it change it, if u can't....change your reaction.
Don't putty them but be grateful that you have learned to take life stuggles with stride and smile through most days! It's hard to learn,...give then a break, they havnt yet.
Ask them to tell you 1 cool thing going on in their life, then continue to ask about it later.
Everyone has life struggles and while dealing withe them the size of the next person's is irrelevant.
If you don't like it change it, if u can't....change your reaction.
Don't putty them but be grateful that you have learned to take life stuggles with stride and smile through most days! It's hard to learn,...give then a break, they havnt yet.
Ask them to tell you 1 cool thing going on in their life, then continue to ask about it later.
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