Yeah it's still not a good idea, don't do it.

Just because *you* feel ok asking her out, and because *you* know you won't do anything rash, *she* does not know that. She has met you a grand total of 4 times, and spoke to you for maybe a grand cumulative total of 30 minutes - and not necessarily by her choice.

In every single conversation you've had with her, who initiates? I'd be willing to bet it's you. You, as the customer, approach her and start a conversation, where she is obligated to participate or else she risks losing her job.

She doesn't know anything about who you are as a person. To her, if you ask her out while she is working, she is backed into a corner by someone she doesn't know, who could do anything. It's not just a comfort zone thing to this person, it's a shit ton of risk on every front.

Let her be, focus on establishing some sort of friendship.

NICE GUY alert! 😐👎

the other commenter explained perfectly. it's inappropriate to ask someone out while they're working and are required to be nice to you.

Cause she's just tryna do her job not get asked out at work

They’re paid to be nice to you, it’s an uncomfortable position to put someone in and she won’t be able to answer honestly under that pressure

Nope this person is wrong they’re not more logical just because they agree with you please don’t

no one is overreacting. you’re not seeing sense and don’t care about how the barista would feel. you only care about your side of this interaction. i would be shocked if she took it positively. again, leave her alone. she’s paid to be nice to you.

There are countless replies saying don’t do it and reasons why, and one reply saying here’s an ok way to do it, and you take the one reply as your answer? You sound like you may not take no for an answer considering you haven’t thus far. In the beginning, I thought ‘they might be ok, just awkward and shy.’ Now, I worry about the barista. You’re being creepy. Listen to the 99% of replies to this and don’t fucking do it.

ok think of it this way. all loaded guns are dangerous, right?
let's say you know nothing about guns, like you don't know how to tell if a gun is loaded or not.
someone hands you a gun, or points a gun at you.

obviously you need to err on the side of caution and assume the gun is loaded. you need to try to keep yourself and other safe. you need to treat the gun as if it is loaded.


in this scenario, the "you" is women and the loaded gun is men.

we don't know who is loaded and dangerous and who isn't. we don't know you. so we do have to treat you as if you are dangerous.

and actually. you are proving your possibility/probability to be dangerous simply by asking someone out at work. by asking someone out when they're working, you are proving yourself to not being safe. because you are willing to push boundaries, willing to cross over the line of what's appropriate vs inappropriate, and you are showing us that your desire matters more than our consent.

don't fucking do it.

The fact that you are so persistent shows what kind of person you are. You are hearing from person after person - women that could easily be the barista you are after - and hearing them say no.

Makes me seriously think any woman choosing to be alone with you would be unsafe. You clearly do *not* care about a woman's feeling of safety. You only want what YOU want, be damned how it makes someone else feel.

You are incredibly selfish and in my opinion, dangerous.