even worse is my coworkers constantly misgender a coworker who exclusively uses they/them pronouns and makes it super clear but they keep getting misgendered

I personally don't, but just because a minute or two interaction is not worth the risk of pissing a customer off and ending with them ranting at me about pronouns and "woke culture". If it's a regular who does it I try and incorporate it into a conversation like "yeah, growing up as the only boy out of 3 sisters" or "I know a ton of other girls love wearing nicer skirts and all but they're just not really my style" etc. But if that doesn't get across to them and they continuously try and misgender you, I'd be more direct. "Hey, as a regular here I've loved getting to know you and I appreciate you stopping by. But for future reference I just wanted to make sure you know that I'm actually a boy/girl (or neither!)."

But if they cause a scene or disruption in any of these instances always always remove yourself from the situation, grab help from your shift or SM to handle it, and file an incident report.

idk. i'm a trans woman and i'm getting misgendered by partners and customers. they acted like it was a big deal and it would be addressed on day 1 and gave me a pronoun pin but now no one cares, and it's not always easy for me to say something.


it feels like from Starbucks perspective they're like "you have to wear the pin or no one has any way to know you're a woman, and if you're not wearing the pin it's no ones fault for misgendering you" lmao :(

i ignore customers, but ill typically tell my coworkers to knock it off or politely correct them. im also not above taking it to sedgewick or higher ups if they continue to disrespect me out of maliciousness

where i live it’s unsafe to correct them, so we usually try to ignore them :(

i mostly ignore it but sometimes it's so frustrating and i have to do something. if it's an honest mistake, i'll act confused and make it seem like i don't know who they're trying to talk to, but i'm willing to help. if it's intentional and they keep trying to push it, i'll just have a shift handle it.

Correcting customers: "My name is [name] and I'd appreciate if you'd refer to me as a [gender]"

i don’t correct anyone that i’ll never see again in my life, what’s the point?

Tbh I have been struggling a little with some NB partners. I correct myself every time but for whatever reason it’s a struggle if I’m not paying attention. I’d love some advice tbh. I think it’s because they changed pronouns after me knowing them as other previously so I’m struggling to not reflex use the wrong ones 😭

i had a coworker who would constantly get misgendered. he didn't wear pronoun pins and to be fair he was pretty feminine presenting and would wear makeup so it was kinda confusing for people i guess

trans dude barista, yeah no, most custys dont refer to me in a gendered way, and if they do, ehh. i wont see most of em again.

coworkers on the otherhand? call me she one more time. 😾😾

for me the biggest thing is when they call me ma’am but otherwise it’s not too big of a deal. my problem is when my coworkers misgender me lololololol

I asked my shift not to put my in window or on front / cs during peak bc to make myself heard i get misgendered a lot

j do much better on dto where i don’t have to basically yell. but if you’d rather not talk at all you can ask to be on bar or a pure support position if your store is big enough

It doesn’t happen to me super often, and most of the time I don’t correct the person because it would just make things more complicated. The times I have corrected someone I try to be polite but blunt. “Hey, so I’m not a bro. Please don’t call me bro.” “It’s actually not sir, please don’t call me sir.”

If a customer does it I just make an off handed comment about Yknow. Being a guy or stuff like that, but I have one guy who goes out of his way to do it on purpose and I just walk away and get a shift. If a coworker does it? I correct them and keep correcting them and if they don’t stop I go to my shifts.

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I have two different stories about two partners:
1) trans man and whenever someone misgendered him, specifically in drive thru, he would drop his voice like six octaves lower and get very “dude bro” like lmao
2) trans woman and whenever she got misgendered she would correct than, but it was waaaay aggressive. Like they would say “thank you sir” and she would reply “it’s ma’am, thank you, what else?” but like really rude and condescending. I had to coach her before cuz she was very unnecessary
So basically don’t be rude to customers, but also you wanted to be respected for who you are as a person

I'm sorry this happens to you, truly. Something to bear in mind - a lot of customers at the bux are/were not raised in the generation you were - this is a new thing to them, for their entire upbringing there was no one requesting or being requested to use new language for NB folks or different pronouns to what they may or may not present. I do not think most people do it out of anger or spite - a little bit of ignorance and mis-education for sure. Please try and take it with a grain of salt - there ARE people trying to learn and understand and change their language....this will take time. A little education never hurts to share!! :)