I’m so sorry they called you that! You absolutely did not deserve that.
I would file an incident report, just so that it is documented in the event that they come back. You should also tell a trusted SSV about it so that you won’t have to be the one to deal with them if they decide to return.

File an incident report anyways. If they come back let your SSV or SM know and have them deal with the kids. If any of them call you anything else, file another report and keep your management informed. If your management is worth a damn they should tell them not to speak that way and/or ask them to leave, eventually banning them if necessary. It breaks the third place policy and is harmful to you as a barista.

I’m sorry you had to deal with that.

I’m also trans and if a customer did that I’d refuse to serve them. That’s not cool. If they come in again it’s perfectly within your right to grab the SSV and let them know what’s up so they can deal with it. You probably should go ahead and file an incident report now so that it’s documented.

How you handle it is you say, "I'm sorry but I'll no longer be able to help you and I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store" if you get in trouble (which I'd hope not but IF you did) you take to social media ans tag starbucks everywhere talking about how they sided with a customer who said what they did ans didn't have your back.

What a little shit their parents suck

Doesn't matter if they're just a kid. If a kid called me that slur I'd file an incident report, inform my boss, and get them banned from the store. If that behavior isn't nipped in the bud right away, that kid will grow up to be a nasty person who goes around calling people slurs as an adult.

I agree with everyone else saying you have the right to refuse them service after being verbally abused by them. I also agree with documenting it and getting an SSV involved if needed and to handle it if they do come back.

I’m so so sorry you had to deal with that. Hopefully those kids grow out of these ignorant opinions.

First and foremost I’m sorry that this happened to you. Your work environment is supposed to be a safe place for you and I’m sorry that on this day it was not. You deserve better than that.
Secondly, understand that humans, teenager or adult, can say and do awful things. Granted, teenagers are underdeveloped in every way possible and so I think it’s safe to chop this up to them “showing out” for their friends. It doesn’t make it okay, but it’s important to come from a place of empathy as opposed to one of anger.

I’m in the process of teaching and showing my partners that disrespect is NEVER okay and that they have the right to speak up no matter the situation.
Now…Starbucks teaches us that there’s a certain way to handle difficult customers, but that isn’t always the case. If ever this happens to you again(and I really hope it doesn’t) separate yourself from any situation that makes you feel uncomfortable. No matter how mild. Creating physical and emotional space during/after these interactions are what’s best.
You have a right to be appalled, upset, confused, conflicted, sad. Or any other feelings you might be feeling.
Truth is, we can’t escape ignorant bigots no matter how hard we try. They exist, but the key is that we have to exist LOUDER. If you feel comfortable, call them out and fight back and challenge their ignorant ideologies every chance you get. Yes, even at work. Sticking up for yourself In a way that respectfully represents you isn’t against any policy.

Hope this helps..

Trans partner here! Is there anyone in the store who you feel comfortable telling about it, especially a shift? SSVs can refuse service to customers, and they absolutely should. An incident report needs to be filed, and if that group of kids comes in and says something like that again, they can be banned.

I know it’s a whole different ballpark for transfems than I’m used to, and protecting yourself could potentially be more dangerous. Please, talk to your managers and come up with a game plan just in case something like this happens again.

I’m so sorry you had to experience this.

I had someone call me the t slur too (also trans) and I just told them to leave and that they are not welcome here until they learn how to treat other people with basic respect. to be fair, I didn't give a fuck if I was going to be reprimanded (I wasnt), but you do have the ability to refuse service to people for being disrespectful.

Punch them in the face.

One time, during the height of the Covid-Asian-racism stuff, I was solo driving and this SUV was sitting at the window, had just paid, when the backseat window rolled down and two younger teenage girls were staring at me. They pulled the corners of their eyes to mimic my eyeshape right to my face, completely unprovoked. Looking like fools at each other and at me. I was stunned, never had something so blatantly racist done to me before that.

Anyway, I entered their order back in under refund mode and asked the driver (mom) if I could scan her app one more time (acting like it hadn't gone through the first time), put her money right back on the app, and shut the window. Said over the headset what had happened and if anyone wanted to come take over this transaction because I was going to tell her, "Bye," otherwise. No one wanted to serve them, imagine that. No one wanted to confront her, either. So, I handed her out a refund receipt and told her that she could come back another time, but due to her passengers' actions, their order had been cancelled and refunded. She asked what they did, I told her, she said that it was not my job to teach her kid a lesson, it was my job to make drinks and hand them out. I told her it was my job to uphold a safe environment for other customers, my partners, and myself and that in order to do my job, I had to refuse service today. I stayed super polite, though my voice was wavery AF, and she eventually "oooh, like we really care about a couple pink drinks, aren't you so cool as the keeper of pink drinks, you fucking bitch"-ed me, and peeled out, ran the stop sign at the end of the drive thru, fortunately did not hurt anyone or herself, and left. Called our store and went OFF, we filed an incident report, and she also left a nasty comment about us and our store on a local rant and reviews page on Facebook, only to get handed her ass by the people in that forum.

It really sucked and my feelings were hurt and it was hard to make that stand, but I'm glad I did. I didn't know if anyone would have my back and I wasn't sure if I would get "in trouble", so I just stayed polite (even though I didn't want to be polite) and matched her anger with calmness. (Terrified calmness, lol, I am sort of a wimp!) I wish someone had stuck up for me, as it was really tough to process and stay calm, but I am proud of myself for doing what I felt was the right thing.

It's so upsetting when it's kids, because they so often get it from the people who should be teaching them about kindness and respect. Why choose hate, why teach hate. Why send your kid out into the world full of poison? I don't get it. I'm so sorry you went through that and that you don't feel supported at your store. I'm sure you got tons of advice, so I just wanted to relate to you instead. I hope you're okay. <3

I would tell my supervisor, walk off the floor, then put in an incident report. You don’t deserve to be treated this way.

Decline service. Tell them to leave. You don’t have to serve anyone who says that to you.

Management might not give a shit about you (I’ve been there, I’m a trans woman too and I know how much it sucks) but they do care about the atmosphere in the cafe. Write an incident report and convince management to ban them from you’re store if they return. Kids chucking slurs around makes the cafe unsafe and deeply uncomfortable for all customers, which is one of few things management actually cares about. I think they’ll be persuaded. If they return, and if there’s an SSV who you sort of trust (or at the very least one that tolerates you), ask them to handle things. Duck to the back if you have to, anything to avoid getting harassed by them again.

And, I’m sorry those kids did this to you. You don’t deserve any of this. Please take it easy on yourself for the next little bit.

Probably hit them for saying such a thing but 1) I don’t want to go to jail, 2) not my child and 3) file an incident report

I'm sorry you had to deal with that. Third place is also for us. We have a right to be respected and feel safe. If you manger doesn't enforce that, they're shit. As a shift, I'd have booted the entire group so fast, their heads would be spinning. I've booted kids before, had their parents come in and yell at me, and I don't care. We aren't a day care. All baristas at my store know that if someone is being inappropriate to them they are allowed to tell them they are breaking our third place and they will need to leave or if they don't feel comfortable to get any of the shifts or even the SM and we will deal it.

[deleted]

[removed]