hey baristas !

(using throwaway acct)

I'm doing really well at work. I had a rough patch in the winter but I got my shxt together & starbucks is keeping my life on track rn.

I have ADHD but cannot be medicated (I was ruined by adderall.) when I was medicated, I didn't notice my "hearing disability" (idk what else to call it) as much since I could hyperfocus on anything in front of me.

now, I love being on bar & CS. I can read the tickets & memorize the routines.

I love being on register since i like to socialize with our guests, but it is DRAINING me mentally.
with my ADHD I have auditory processing disorder (APD).
it can be funny at times (I'll hear different words than what's actually being said and process thoughts differently.) but when I'm trying to work, it's the most frustrating thing.

on register, I do VERY well with guests that speak slowly & clearly & take their time with me. I am fast on the screen since that's a visual element.

on the flip side, a lot of people come in & speak like a mouse or blurt their order in 2 seconds & expect me to get it. the get upset when I didn't get it the first time.

also today, I couldn't understand someone's name (I still don't know what it is lol) but they handed back their drink saying it wasn't for them. (If I had to guess, her name was Eileen, but I put Ivory)
I insisted it was her drink, but explained I have a hearing disability & still can't understand her name with all the noise in the room. she rolled her eyes & I walked away since I didn't want to continue that conversation.

also, my coworkers LOVE to talk at full volume next to me while I'm taking orders. I physically have to lean over the counter & cup my ear to the guest since my brain is picking up the familiar voices, not the stranger's voice. I've told them multiple times I can't have 2 conversations going at once but it doesn't change anything.

I ALWAYS read back almost the entire order & its generally correct. very rarely do I not triple check every word to make sure it's right for them.

at this point, my brain gets flustered when all these noises are happening & I can't keep track.
it's "do register" "no do food" "no grab tickets" "no brew coffee" "no make their tea"
..... I have a terrible short term memory & typically forget 1 task while I do 3 more. I need 1 task to focus on or else I'll walk in circles trying to process what I'm doing.

I also flooded the cold brew tap 6x this week.

now, I guess this is more of a rant but I'll turn it into a discussion.
is this considered a disability? what can I do to make it better known that I am not ignoring you as a customer, but Iiterally cannot piece sounds together when I'm getting them from all different angles?

I don't know sign language but probably would benefit from it. I do read lips but my SSVs all wear masks so I don't understand directions half their time.

is this something worth talking to my manager about? I am up for SSV & want to keep doing good. I don't want to look stupid when I'm actually having a hard time.

sorry if this is hard to read it's been a long week.

thank you ; much love <3