bro I kinda regret getting this job. I did because all my trans friends work here and the benefit(which i can't actually afford to use. woo!) and i get misgendered constantly. I know i need to voice train but it's got me thinking i must just look like a man in a dress. I fucking hate it. $bux is weird. my coworkers are mostly left leaning types and super chill. The customers though. They aren't "woke" or whatever. even if i try to correct them they don't care. except one dude who noticed my shift in tone and called himself out on it. he will not be forgotten.

sorry you are dealing with it too. as to what i do? i just kinda loose my give a shit about this job more every time. I don't really cope with it. out of sight out of mind really.

flat chest, facial hair, jesus fucking christ how the hell are they mistaking you for a woman?

It might sound like I'm joking, but I'm not. Misgender them back. You have fucking facial hair, dude. They're not making innocent mistakes, they're being assholes. Show them how it feels and if they cop a stink, let your SSV explain to them the importance of pronouns.

I feel this, fellow trans guy partner here. My coworkers are all great about my pronouns, I’ve been out & had name changed/surgery/hormones since before I started working for Starbucks. I sadly don’t have any advice, I tend to just blame myself since I gave up on hormones. I also feel I’m probably more aligned with being nonbinary, but don’t have the energy to try and get people to switch to different pronouns. If your coworkers are pretty supportive you can try making sure they know if they hear anyone misgender you to jump in and maybe address you in someway that shows the customer how to address you. Like “hey {your name}, here’s that x drink/food item for you sir/dude.” I’ve had coworkers and even my SM offer to jump in and correct customers for me, but I’m still stuck in the not taking up space/being a bother like I was raised. Good luck! I know it’s rough.

I’m an enby partner. And honestly, voice training and hardcore corrections will be helpful.

I’ve found that being taken seriously often starts with you sticking up for yourself. just keep correcting people who misgender you, and if it’s a coworker or your shift/manager, let them know how it makes you feel. anyone working alongside you will be in trouble if they continually misgender you. when it happens to me, I just tell myself that my identity is still the same wether or not someone uses the right pronouns. I’m rooting for you dude!!

My coworkers make it worth sticking around. I’ve been out for almost 6 years and still get misgendered occasionally. Only ever at work tho. I know it’s my voice. Customers will come up gendering me correctly and once I start talking they’ll call me sir. It’s fucked up. I’m not a man and don’t look like a guy at all. My sm is a cis woman with a deeper voice than me. I just tell myself a lot of the customers don’t really see me as a person and it’s not because I’m trans but because I’m a barista. For some weird reason that helps make it easier to deal with.

Oh god that sucks dude. The only thing I can recommend would be voice training. I know there are voice training videos for transmascs of youtube. And if you can afford to go to a professional, consider it. Best of luck and all my transmasc love.

I understand how you feel. Its really 50/50 when it comes to customers especially regulars. What helps me personally is other partners I work with. I was stealth by omission of the truth when I first started and would sprinkle in little comments here and there (usually through jokes) and they'd pick up on it. I also wore he/him and they/them pins for a few months. Having a good support system in and out of work can help ease some if the hurt from misgendering as well. Also, thinking along the lines of "this is only 5 minutes out of the 24 hours of my day" or "I'll probably never see them again" helps me desensitize myself to any terms they toss at me.

When I was first starting out at sbux, I didn’t initially know there was even pronoun pins, but I was lucky enough that all my coworkers wrote their pronouns in bright colors on their name tags, and that really helped me out. So maybe that can help as well? I hope it gets better for you, and screw anybody who would purposely misgender/invalidate you.

Try not wearing the pronoun pin. I've found that people will actually go out of their way to use the wrong pronouns regardless of what I look like if I'm wearing one

If you think being misgendered only happens with Starbucks customers you are very wrong. You will be misgendered ANYWHERE you go, unless you get on at a super small cafe, that only has people who will correct themselves as customers… which is rare.

I’m nonbinary and I don’t look androgynous I just hate conforming for my assigned gender at birth I still get deadnamed I don’t care if I get called miss but ma’am bothers me a bit even when I have a they/them pronoun pin 🫠 I need voice training I’m absolutely terrified to correct customers even had a coworker want to correct customers for me and I said it’s fine because like another person said on here I don’t want to be a bother even though I have amazing support by coworkers I’m still scared to even speak up 🫠🥲