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Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind

Full History - 2022 - 09 - 25 - ID#xnzzc9
8
a hypothetical PCC call? (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by GreatWizardH0wl
I'm a shift manager, and a queer person. Now earlier in the week, a green bean was lent my hat to wear on the floor because we didn't have a back up hat for them. This hat has a pin that says 'ask me what asexual means', NBD I'm an ace person. My other shift manager came in on their day off, saw the pin on the hat and burst into laughter and pointed. The green bean became embarrassed and turned the hat around, hiding the pin. It's my hat. It's my pin. I watched all this happen. I thought that shift and I were friends. I let the moment pass and didn't say anything. This Friday at close, a day I am not scheduled, partners were messing around putting silly stickers on each other like "I think the pythogram theory is a govt conspiracy", just silly, random stuff. At some point in the evening they thought it'd be funny to put "I ♥️ asexuals" on a sticker, as a joke, and then put it on my locker. Again, I'm not there. No other partner on the floor is asexual. This was done to tease, to call attention to, it's presented as ridiculous and funny. I feel just devastated walking in on Sunday and seeing that. It was left up for days without my knowing. No one told me about it. No one asked about it. Everyone saw it. Apperently one of the baristas on that night told the shift I wouldn't find it funny. Three (3) adults read a joke that feature a protected identity as a PUNCHLINE and thought it was appropriate. I thought these people were my friends. I thought they liked me. I feel sick to my stomach and I keep pausing in my closing shift to catch my breath, I can't tell if I feel like crying or if I'm having a panic attack. The manager responsible for it apologized when I confronted her about it, and the sticker was thrown away. I really don't want to do anything further but if this happened to anyone else on the team I know I'd step in and I don't know if anyone else was hurt seeing that. My identity isn't a joke, but I don't want to be considered a snitch or petty AND there was a legitimate apology. Should I escalate this out of a sense of obligation or can I let it lie? Is this fucked up or am I being sensitive?
-anustart69- 7 points 9m ago
No that’s is messed up don’t let them gaslight you into thinking you’re overreacting. If it hurt your feelings or made you uncomfortable in any way then it’s important. As a fellow asexual I would be very upset as well and would report it immediately
vareenoo 2 points 9m ago
I am the only openly lgbtq partner in my store and I would 100% report that if it happened to me. You’re only giving them power by not doing such, and they may do it again. If you’re worried about them not liking you, tbh it seems like they don’t respect your identity in the first place!
floofxs2 1 points 9m ago
If you feel uncomfortable its a problem and it needs to be addressed. I would ask sm or dm if you could have a team meeting where this topic is addressed. I am not sure of the correct wording but I am sure there is some training that involves inclusivity and supporting LGBTQ+ partners. Maybe they don’t understand how you have been affected and the best way to prevent that in the future is for others to learn. Because i hope they are your friends and just made some thoughtless choices that they didn’t realize were hurtful.
5AV1OR 1 points 9m ago
There is no reason for what they did. From the info you give it sounds like the jokes they were making were “things so outlandish they aren’t real” and then to write what they did on your locker they are basically saying they think being ace is hilarious because they can’t believe it’s real. And then to leave it up is just blatant disrespect. I’m an opener and good friends with a lot of the closers at my store. I’m in a group chat with them and the two things I will always defend and stand by is; ‘Don’t send video after video goofing off to the group chat if the close isn’t at-least decent’ and ‘Don’t leave things around the store that the manager or other shifts will ask me about/be upset about’. If I came in and saw a sticker on my box that said, “loves gay men” I’d be upset it’s no one’s place to bring my sexuality into the workplace when I’m not there. Especially with the historical context of homophobia.
5AV1OR 1 points 9m ago
Wanted to add something else: it’s simply unnecessary. That’s it. At the end of the day it can boil down to they had no reason to do it. So they shouldn’t have. Do I think it’s blatant discrimination not really. Do I think it could be hurtful or uncomfortable for you and other people absolutely.
icedcarfee 0 points 9m ago
i think you’re being sensitive personally but either way if they genuinely apologized why keep making a big deal out of a mistake.
never-been-better 0 points 9m ago
If you believe that the apology was sincere and you accepted the apology, it's over. That doesn't mean that you should not be aware of the moral integrity of those who participated in this. It sounds to me like negative peer pressure had run wild.

If you cannot come to terms with the apology and the remorse that comes with it - and you don't believe that it is sincere, then escalate it. But know that the longer you hold onto it, the more it will affect you - and not in a good way.

If it were me, I would try to clear my mind and move on..... I feel sorry for people that try to make themselves feel better by stepping on others... Hopefully, they will learn from the experience and be more responsible for their actions.

Good luck!
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