Hi, I’m a new hire at Starbucks. I’ve been working there since the start of the year. I’m an opener/midshift and so is an older partner. She’s been working there for several years but won’t/can’t make drinks so she stays at window or front. I’m a non-binary masc person, I use they/he pronouns. All of the partners at the store do great at respecting my identity and pronouns, it’s important to note that we live in the south. I open with this particular partner at least once a week, every time I dread it. For months she’s been using the wrong pronouns when referring to me/ calls me ma’am. At first, if i could I would correct her but she interrupts me. I’m not a confrontational person so I get stuck in this spot. Ive been told that my GM has talked to her a few times about it. Recently, I’ve been talking to my shift leads about it because it ruins my day. The shifts went to the GM and she talked to her again and then had a small discussion with me. She just explained the same thing she’s been telling me which is “she’s not doing it maliciously she just doesn’t understand”. My GM basically has done nothing to help me in the slightest. Now since that event happened she’s telling on me to my shifts about stupid shit. She told my shifts that I shouldn’t be calling customers the “pet names” (for lack of a better term) that I do such as honey,sweetheart,friend, etc. Again, we’re from the south, it’s so common to call people names like this casually. I’ve been doing it my whole life and I honestly feel like it’s one of my most personable customer service quirks that makes customers enjoy coming through my drive through, meanwhile she’s typically very monotone with customers. Then, the other day she came up behind me to tell me that my hair was sticking out of the back of my hat. Now I shaved my head over the summer so i literally have one inch of hair. I shrugged and told her “it’s no big deal”. She said “ so you don’t care??” Guess I don’t? Now I do believe that she is trying to get me in trouble because she keeps getting corrected. This has been so upsetting and is worsening my gender dysphoria. I’m contacting my DM next week.

What do y’all think my next step should be?

Also side note: she’s gay and was married to a woman For several years before she passed. I don’t feel like that should necessarily mean anything but it’s interesting for her to be apart of the community yet so hateful.