It’s hard to maneuver. I was raped at 18 and still have difficulties with touch. My best advice is to verbalize it, such as “Hey, I’m not comfortable with touching, please verbalize it.” I’m deal with hyper vigilance on the reg, to the point it’s just me being “on edge” all the time between people poking/touching, walking up behind me and scaring me, or even just coming around the corner quickly. People typically laugh it off, which is fine but it still sucks.

Ooh! Not to be like "hey I know this one" but I do actually know this one. First and foremost, don't be afraid to come across as petty if necessary. You deserve personal space, fuck whatever anyone else thinks. But the most civil way to approach this is to note who does it and when, then wait for a moment when you feel calm and collected enough to approach them about the issue. It won't necessarily help to blow up at or corner them. "Hey, I don't mean to bother you but I'm actually really uncomfortable when people touch me. It's definitely not you, it's just that it hurts me more than maybe it would for someone else. I prefer X thing (like, a shared call noot noot or rapping knuckles on the counter) to share excitement." Basically, buffer your boundaries with reassurance, especially if you're on friendly terms with the coworker(s) in question. Most of the time, people don't realize they're annoying you. And consider, if someone invades your boundaries intentionally, do you really need to worry so much about hurting their feelings or being petty?

Not saying you’re petty but I’m assuming you work in a smaller store and I’m one of those people that’ll just touch cause there’s 20 thousands sounds going on(I have hearing issues), everyone one is moving, it’s a lot faster to just stop someone from walking into with your hands than it is with words.

Edit: This is just offering an explanation as to why from the opposition. I am however both the touch and don’t touch me. It just depends. I would definitely speak up about the back thing. That would cause me to snap on someone.

the responses about this are crazy cus I have never intentionally touched my partners, “excuse me” should be enough. I am super aware of how I take up space and when I do make contact, it’s typically from turning around too fast or accidentally brushing someone when I reach for stuff.

I mean if it bothers you, you should say something. I'm a really touchy person, but I don't want to like make u uncomfortable. like I ran into another barista going around a corner, and ended up giving her a hug, and when i'm barring with somebody I kinda like push them around not like forcefully but giving them direction

our bar space is pretty tight, but even so we always use “behind, beside you”, and know never to put our hands on other partners, even if it’s brief or harmless. I would definitely say something! IMO I feel like it’s common knowledge not to touch ppl without their permission😅

Yeah this sounds awful to me. I would also feel awkward about it but it’s better to bring it up and go from there than never say anything and just be bitter and resentful from on out. Hopefully you can communicate your needs and figure out a better solution

This kind of contact should not be happening in the first place and fears about being perceived as petty should not influence how you address this. As a matter of fact the first thing your leader should do in this situation is apologize to you for the failure of the expected system of no intentional contact.
I would raise this with the direct manager of the most senior person on your team with whom you have experienced the problem.
I haven’t worn a green apron in a long time, so I don’t know what SSV means but if you’re not okay with the contact and the contact is intentional and avoidable that is the problem that needs to be addressed.
I would also recommend that in addition to the contact being a problem, it is your impression that raising this issue may be met with minor forms of retribution by management and teammates.
Lastly, the conversation will be uncomfortable but is a growth experience that will serve you in many other uncomfortable conversations later in life. Prepare for it by writhing the complaint in the form of an unaddressed email. Print two copies of that email and use it a a crib sheet for your conversation and then provide the copy to the person with whom you are having the conversation and ask them who else you should send the email to, to document the conversation, then send it to them and whoever else they suggest.
No - one should be touched, intentionally when avoidable, at work!

When I first started at starbucks I came from a restaurant environment that was very close. We used touch to let ppl know we were behind them. To avoid fast spinning/turning/ ect.
I would use this "technique" per se as well when I first started.
About a week or two I was pulled aside by my manager who sat me down. He told me that he absolutely hated being touched, especially from someone he doesn't know/just met. And he asked me to stop doing it, even if it was kindly intended.

I REALLY REALLY appreciated him telling me. I would have felt so so bad if I kept doing this while he slowly grew resentment/discomfort at his place of work. It was such a good wake up call for me of other people's personal space, needs, and boundaries.

I think of that talk often and he really kicked sense into my.

Have that talk, set those boundaries! It will help them as much as it will help you.

Much love to you

Seconding others who have given an example of how to have the conversation for not being touched in general!

If you (or others reading this) are okay with *some* touch, maybe more of a systemic way of physical communication could be worked on?

This is something I’m still navigating as well, but as someone who needs touch because I’m deaf & low-vision—If you verbally say you’re behind me I have no clue you even exist.

System: There is something called haptics, which is often used with ProTactile (a language used with DeafBlind folks). It’s a very specific method, and one that I’ve slowly been working on adapting to be able to implement. Some examples include:

Passing behind you: drawing a straight line across your upper shoulder blades or a tap on one shoulder blade then the middle then the other shoulder blade, in the direction they’re going

Move over: they tap on the side they need to be on, on your upper arm.

I need your attention: firm nudge on upper arm or elbow

For all of these, I’ve had it modified to be the back of the hand (or sometimes your base knuckles) so it’s a more widespread area that doesn’t feel like being grabbed.

I’ve also communicated that this is more a system that they can do to me, so that they’re less likely to get hurt because them walking at full speed across the floor is going to get THEM hurt when I turn around without seeing them or because I felt a nudge and was turning to see what’s up (either because I’m holding something hot and/or because I’m a very hefty dude that’s accidentally knocked aside people a foot taller than me when they walk into me full force and I just don’t even budge). I will do this system to other people who have said it’s okay, otherwise I do not do any contact at all.

It also means that they usually *cannot* touch me otherwise, because then there’s just extra confusion. So yes you’re still getting touched but it’s in a more controlled way.

You need to calmly set boundaries to everyone before you complain about things. Is this something they know? Have you given them time to adjust? Are you going to lose it when someone accidentally touches your shoulder? All things to consider.

a lot of baristas at my store will bite fingers. you should bite fingers too :) /j
seriously though, that sucks. touching is gross. sorry ur store makes u put up with it

It’s okay to say, “hey I actually would prefer it if you just said behind instead of touching me”

Start there and see what happens

Physical contact is inevitable but I always try to avoid it. I definitely don’t touch people to let them know I’m there. That’s kinda creepy. I just yell “behind” or “your left” or whatever.

I’ve just been straight up with people. I will say “hey I actually don’t like to be touched” and they either respond with okay or “omg i didn’t know I was doing anything bad”.
And I know in a lot of cultures and such that it’s quite normal to touch people like side hugs, back touches, etc. but personally, I am not a fan of it happening to me.
I use loud “BEEP BEEP” like noises or other verbal cues if I have to go behind someone. but yeah, communicate it as much as you can so that you can be comfortable.

I do my best to not touch at all bc of you know…boundaries are a thing. I’ll always say behind or beside and most times will put a hand out in case somebody backs up into me while I’m passing by. I’m sorry they’re not respecting your boundaries OP

OP, I don’t know why people are justifying touching. I’m an SSV, and my manager just told us in our last meeting that we shouldn’t be touching people, and this is an example used. You shouldn’t be uncomfortable at work. Geez. I’m the same way. I don’t like physical touch from most people. When someone does the types of things you mention I recoil and my skin crawls. I thought maybe I was being overly dramatic but it’s my comfort and personal space. You shouldn’t feel like it’s your burden to handle. This has occurred many times across my time at Starbucks and it is the managers job to have a conversation and tell the partner to respect personal space.

The back slapping would put me over the top, like that is too much. I would connect with that SSV about your feelings, because we don't have to touch our coworkers.

I came from restaurants before I worked at Starbucks, and most of the time your hands are full, so you get used to saying "behind" or some variation of that dozens of times a shift. I brought that with me to Starbucks.

Running or bumping into coworkers is bound to happen in tight quarters, but taps on the shoulder or the back shouldn't be the norm, in my opinion.

Idk man just say Oi! Don’t touch me, use your words. I don’t like it when people touch me, I have a hard time when they look at me too. Makes me really uncomfortable. my coworkers know this and they acknowledge my boundaries.

As many have said, don't be afraid to speak up about it. I've started saying "Beside you/Behind you" because of prior kitchen experience. It's actually proper kitchen/restaurant etiquette to verbalize it rather than say "excuse me, sorry!" Or to touch. Especially if said person is the ingredient prepper and has a knife for chopping, dicing, slicing, or mincing. 😦

Say something. Ppl in your store have a flow of how they work best. If you need accommodating you need to say it, bc they definitely cannot and will not read your mind. Confide in someone you trust if you can't talk directly to the person... your trainer, ssv, asm, sm

But tbh id rather touch your back/ shoulder than have us collide during peak... when navigating the tiny boxed in area containing 2 espresso machines & 2 ppl with 1 sink and 1 ice bin on 1 side while a 3rd person squeezes by to make refreshers and a 4th is trying to hand off mobile and Cafe food.... and have steaming hot liquid spoiled all over me or you

Yeah this is why at my store we constantly say “behind” or other things to let partners know we’re near their space. We’ve all bumped into each other enough

I made my store start saying behind and likewise cause of this issue. I hate being touched randomly cause I usually jump if I don’t expect it. Luckily it has taken on as most of us are used to food service

That’s crazy. Yeah definitely tell them to stop touching u

If I accidentally touch a partner, I always apologize. I’m not super comfortable with being touched so I like to be cautious. If for whatever reason I need to touch a partner (idk why that would be haha) I’ll ask. I love when people ask, like when it’s a partners last day and they’ll ask if they can give me a hug :) please everyone, respect people’s boundaries!

Literally just say on the headset “hey it would really help me if you tell me, you’re behind me because being touched, makes me really uncomfortable” I’m suuuure everyone would understand

Any unconsensual touch is considered sexual harassment in the work place.

Despite the intent behind it. Please bring it up to your manager. I know on the floor on peak it gets hard to be verbal and exhausting but of kitchens can do it all day so can baristas....

Please inform your manager about this and ask they address it with the team for future improvement.

I do this sometimes but only with baristas that i’m friends with outside of work, and that have done it to me

our bar area is 30 inches wide. it's impossible not to touch and an inconvenience to wait to pass cos we're the highest volume store AND have the highest peaks. if it really bothers you that much (minus the back slap that sucks) then transfer