Starbucks Baristas: The daily grind
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so i don't lose my mind (self.starbucksbaristas)
submitted by inightmareahighway
it has gotten so hard for me to interact with customers. i feel hostile and defensive when a customer complains about something and i really hate feeling that way and while i do hide it for most customers, i know sometimes, when i'm under high stress, it's noticeable. i know it's insecurity of my abilities mixed with the anxiety of being judged, but i really want to do better with creating a good environment for the customers - does anyone have any tips? i feel physically unable to follow the latte model sometimes- it's like i completely dissociate when it's needed. my hands start shaking and my throat closes and i feel like all my problem solving skills have gone out the window. this is mainly when i'm on cafe/mobile bar. SOS because i am seriously considering quitting, i feel inept and powerless during peak when i am on bar, even if i'm doing the best i can
yvesagain 11 points 8m ago
I don't want to make assumptions but your reactions sound very similar to mine, and I have been diagnosed with CPTSD due to childhood trauma, yelling/anger being a huge component of the trauma. Because of it, I also get very shaky and have a difficult time talking to people who are aggressive/angry or even just mildly rude/confrontational. I also have a hard time keeping my cool and sucking up to people who are rude (the latte model often feels demeaning). I remember recently a lady came in for a refresher with light ice and claimed her drink didn't seem like it had light ice. I had made the drink for her, and specifically used a tall scoop in a venti, so it was *definitely* light ice. I was so irritated by her complaining that I didn't offer a remake, I just assured her it was light ice as I had made it myself. I didn't realize until after she left that I had handled that "wrong" according to sbux standards and I felt kinda bad about it. But I digress.
As far as tips for dealing with it go, I think the only thing you can really do is try to not take customers too seriously. I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way. Also, sometimes being overly polite in response to rudeness is more of a slap in the face to them than matching their rudeness. However if they are overly rude and aggressive, let your SSV handle them. You don't have to take abuse.
All of that said, if you haven't already, I would encourage you to look deeper into why you have these reactions to confrontations from customers. To me, it sounds like you are experiencing textbook symptoms of being triggered, specifically with feeling shaky and like your throat closed up. Again, I don't want to make assumptions so it's up to you to examine if there is anything to what I'm saying. If it is bothering you this much, I'm saying this kindly—this might not be the job for you. I had to leave my last job because I was constantly triggered by my angry boss and it was the best decision could've made for myself.
As far as tips for dealing with it go, I think the only thing you can really do is try to not take customers too seriously. I know it's easier said than done but it's the only way. Also, sometimes being overly polite in response to rudeness is more of a slap in the face to them than matching their rudeness. However if they are overly rude and aggressive, let your SSV handle them. You don't have to take abuse.
All of that said, if you haven't already, I would encourage you to look deeper into why you have these reactions to confrontations from customers. To me, it sounds like you are experiencing textbook symptoms of being triggered, specifically with feeling shaky and like your throat closed up. Again, I don't want to make assumptions so it's up to you to examine if there is anything to what I'm saying. If it is bothering you this much, I'm saying this kindly—this might not be the job for you. I had to leave my last job because I was constantly triggered by my angry boss and it was the best decision could've made for myself.
inightmareahighway [OP] 3 points 8m ago
i really appreciate this comment, thank you! you arent making assumptions at all; normally i'm great with people and with being overly polite but there have been so many pinpoint instances lately, so many dreadful shifts where it feels like any customer who even looks at me while i make drinks thinks i'm stupid and hopes i fail. i have a couple SSVs who are pretty intense with wait times, who value customer experiences over barista experiences, which isn't helpful.
there was once a man who came in and watched me spill an iced PSL all over the counter. it drenched the bottom of his cup- I had his syrup for his hot chocolate already pumped, so i got a new cup and dumped it in. he said very smugly, "is it still gonna taste the same with all the syrup in the other cup?" and i, already on the verge of tears from the spilt PSL (we were on a 45 minute wait at that point for mobiles), said "yes." and continued his drink without pumping anything else. then he got distracted with calling over two of my SSV's to tell them to fix the "delay in the sticker printer" and talked their ears off about what HE would do to make it better (even though the actual issue is with how the system lets 60 mobile orders through in one half hour; that was the kind of shift i was having lol) - so seeing that he is actually kind of an insane person helped me calm down about the reaction i had, but i still cried juuuusst a little :,) after that, i just find it really really hard to be polite to people who i think are being unreasonable.
the reaction i have with the shaking, throat closing, full dissociation is probably linked to some fun trauma i've acquired over my 17 years lol - i think i'm going to discuss being placed somewhere other than mobile/cafe bar when possible in the future to my SSVs. even warming would be better at this point. thank you again! i will take some time on my next few shifts to evaluate how i really feel about this job, and if it's worth the stress anymore.
there was once a man who came in and watched me spill an iced PSL all over the counter. it drenched the bottom of his cup- I had his syrup for his hot chocolate already pumped, so i got a new cup and dumped it in. he said very smugly, "is it still gonna taste the same with all the syrup in the other cup?" and i, already on the verge of tears from the spilt PSL (we were on a 45 minute wait at that point for mobiles), said "yes." and continued his drink without pumping anything else. then he got distracted with calling over two of my SSV's to tell them to fix the "delay in the sticker printer" and talked their ears off about what HE would do to make it better (even though the actual issue is with how the system lets 60 mobile orders through in one half hour; that was the kind of shift i was having lol) - so seeing that he is actually kind of an insane person helped me calm down about the reaction i had, but i still cried juuuusst a little :,) after that, i just find it really really hard to be polite to people who i think are being unreasonable.
the reaction i have with the shaking, throat closing, full dissociation is probably linked to some fun trauma i've acquired over my 17 years lol - i think i'm going to discuss being placed somewhere other than mobile/cafe bar when possible in the future to my SSVs. even warming would be better at this point. thank you again! i will take some time on my next few shifts to evaluate how i really feel about this job, and if it's worth the stress anymore.
inightmareahighway [OP] 1 points 8m ago
i'm also considering changing my availability from all day some days to more evenings!! less customer and wait time focused but i still get to keep working at a job that i rlly do love
[deleted] 1 points 8m ago
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