“Where’s the other guy? I like him better. You’re boring.”

“Could I get a medicine bong?”

the funniest one I’ve ever gotten
Me: hi welcome to Starbucks what can I get for you?
Guy: hi can I get a birthday cake pop
Me: oh I’m so sorry but we are out of all cake pops today
Guy: *tells his kid no cakepops*
The bloodcurdling scream that came out of that kid had me dying

C: "can I get an iced white mocha?"

Me: "I'm sorry but we don't have any white mocha sauce at the moment"

C: "okay, can I get a white mocha frapp?"

Me:" I'm sorry but we don't have any white mocha to make a white mocha frapp"

C: "okay then how about a peppermint white hot chocolate?"

Me:"😐😑😐 we... we don't have any white mocha...."

C: "Ugh, you should've just said that in the first place! *leaves*

The Frappuccino one 😭

“can I get a grande iced chai with brown ice and light sugar”

“Can I get a cheese danish? HAEWT!” I loved it when this dude came through DT; always gave us a nice laugh.

“Can I please get a coffee with 2 sugars and cream the color of Obama?” Yes, ma’am! I nailed that greige in 2007 🙌

“can i get a pumpkin spice latte?”
“of course!”
“oh and can i have that sweetened?”
“yeah, it’s already pretty sweet though.”
“it’s not all natural ingredients??”

from today, the worlds smartest couple

wife: can i get a peppermint mocha?
me: sorry, we're out of that! can i get you something else?
wife: [literal pouting] oh. mango lemonade.
me: ok! and what can i get for you, sir?
husband, who was standing less than a foot away that whole interaction: can i get a peppermint mocha frappucino?
me: no.

One time a customer was pissed we were out of the dragon fruit pieces because the dragon fruit pieces cure cancer 🤦🏻‍♀️ I wish I was kidding

can i get a caramel frap with extra caramel drizzle.
*gives it to them* (normal amount drizzle on cup)
this is too much caramel
🫥

one time I asked a customer if she wanted a pup cup for her dog and she said no because he gets gassy and then we started talking about our dogs' farts it was one of the best customer interactions i've had

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all i know is my anxiety goes crazy when it’s someone who has a really heavy accent and i can’t tell if it’s mocha or matcha 😭😭😭😭

I had someone with the no mango too... they wanted a lemonade with the dragonfruit pieces. They never made it clear, and turns out they're allergic to mango (not deadly, and we did let them know everything just in case)

“Can I get an extra toasted white mocha? “

“Can I get a tall strawberry açaí refresher with no caffeine for my daughter?”

“I’m sorry, I can’t take the caffeine out of that.”

“Well what if I get a venti for myself? can’t you just put the extra caffeine in mine instead?”

“ma’am, I physically cannot remove the caffeine from the drink.”

mine is the woman banging on the bathroom door yelling at me during my break for locking customers out and then we just hear a flush. It was locked because it was occupied ma'am.

Can I have a caramel Bruhlee with extra of the caramel?

Me: talking to a customer about at home espresso machines and I make a joke about how my boyfriend likes when i make him drinks
Customer: “he wants you to make him drinks after you work here doing that all day? You should tell him to go f*ck himself” i was speechless

Not me but one of our partners was very uhh… innocent you could say and she asked a customer if she’d like whip on her drink and the customer said “yes please but hold the chains” or something… the other three of us didn’t have a headset on so imagine our absolute surprise when this partner comes up to us after the customer leaves, tells us this and asks what the customer meant because she didn’t understand it 😭

“Hey welcome to Starbucks, just to let you know both of our espresso machines are down right now so we can’t do espresso or hot drink”

“Oh but you can do cold ones?”

“Yes, like our frappuccinos and refreshers”

“Can I have a brown sugar oat milk shaken espresso”

“… we can’t do espresso drinks right now”

“Oh yea. How about a white mocha frap with a blonde shot”

“I can do that frap for you but we can’t do espresso right now”

“Oh! Yea that’s fine.”

This kept happening

can i get a chestnut praleenie?

can i get a cinnamon dolch?

Can I get a caramel Frappuccino HOT

grown woman: “hi… can i get the luffy drink? *giggles*
me: *internally crying* “i’m sorry ma’am, we don’t have that on our menu. if you show me the recipe we could make it for you!”
woman: *huffs* *pulls out her phone to show me itsjoboi’s tik tok*
me: okay sure we can make that for you!
her husband: “and uh… i’ll get a carbon rimmle crunch in the big size”
me: “uhh… okay!”

literally the entire time i was making their drinks they were giggling like mf kids. when i handed her the drink she immediately pulled out her phone to take a video of it😀👍🏼

Can I get an iced sugar cookie latte hot

The espresso machine shit the bed. We have signs all over. Two are close to my eye level directly facing them, one is on the counter, all espresso and steamed milk drinks have a “returning soon sticker” on the menu.
“Yeah can I get a white mocha?”
“Sorry, that’s an espresso drink and the machine is down, can I make you something else?”
“Could you just like put it in a latte?”

"Can I get an iced caramel macchiato without coffee?"

"Oh, so you just want a glass of milk with caramel?"

"No! I want an iced caramel macchiato NO COFFEE!"

C: Where's my drink?? 4/5 people behind me have already been helped!

M: Ma'am, your drink is right here, we have a lot of mobile orders & are going as fast as we can. So sorry for the wait.

C: Mobile orders?! People behind me have already gotten their drink!

There was also

C: Excuse me, ma', you didn't call my name.

M: I'm sorry, I thought I did, my apologies.

C: You need to call names. There's lots of people here with the same drinks. DO BETTER.

M:...ok...sorry?

And this gem

C: I need this drink completely remade. Someone else touched the cup.

“What comes in a grilled cheese?”

"can i get a hot iced brown sugar oatmeal shaken espresso?"

"Can i get your breakfast sandwich with lettuce and tomatoes please?"

C: *Orders a pineapple passion w lemonade* "does this have lemonade in it?"

Me: "Yes"

C: "It doesnt look like it"

"Can i get a strawberry acai frappucino?"

C: my son is in the ICU

me: oh no im so sorry about that, maybe a cup of tea would make you feel a little better this morning

C: it would, yes *orders a mint maj*

Me: your total would be *insert total here*

C: what?

Me: im sorry is there something wrong?

C: i thought it was free

Me: ...were you going to use the stars on the app?

C: no, but i told you my son is in the ICU

Me: yes...? Im sorry i dont see the connection

C: the drink should be free because we're in a hospital and my son is dying

Me: .... *screaming internally*

“Can I get a crembruleè latte”

can i get a white mocha without the mocha?

“Can I get a caramel maraschino”
“Do you guys sell protein shakes?”
“Can I get a bacon Gouda with sausage instead?”
“Can I get a white chocolate mocha?”
~yeah a white mocha! What else?”
“No I don’t want mocha. I want a white CHOCOLATE mocha”

can I get a burger

[taking their BOSE] "i thought i ordered this hot?"

"can i get a uhhhhhh.....just an american coffee? whatever that means to you"

(Holding the caramel crunch frapp I just handed them) "this was meant to be hot."
Or "my wife wants a hot chocolate but with no whipped cream and 2 espresso shots" "ok sir but it would be a lot cheaper to get a mocha" (he calls his wife and I proceed to talk to her on speaker phone for like 5 minutes trying to explain) "well I want the coffee but I want it to taste like a hot chocolate" "ma'am the shots are the only difference in ingredients" "noo use the hot chocolate powder"

Customer bringing their drink up to handoff “um I need this remade because it’s really watery”
Me looking at the sticker “ma’am that’s an iced americano…”

“Can I just get a just get a jumbo Jack and a large Coke” is taking me OUT right now. Also I have many questions about the tutu one

my ssv: “you need to connect with customers more on register”

me: “ok”

me: *connecting with a regular for literally 30 seconds*

customer behind: “ARE YALL DONE YET??? ARE YOU DONE??? CAN I ORDER MY COFFEE???”

me: “no.”

me: *gets written up*

😔😔🙃🙃

👩🏻: you guys don't have any sugar packets????

me: oh no, we do! they're just behind the counter. *holds up sugar* what kind would you like? :)

👩🏻: UGH! NEVERMIND! *storms out and slams the door*

“Can I get a large coke”
“I want a strawberry frosty”
“Can I get a tomato mozzarella on fettuccini”
“Can I get the amazing sandwich”
“Do you guys do a strawberry banana smoothie”

had a lady come in 5 minutes before close and i let them know we took our drawers for the night and she said: thats fucking bullshit yall just dont want money.... maam we had like 6 cars right after you before we closed, i dont think using card or app pay is an issue 5 minutes before lol

I handed a woman her iced latte, and she asked me if it was iced.

nah try steaming Cold Brew, it’s amazing

The first customer wanted a mango dragonfruit lemonade no inclusions. Half the time customers don’t have to order- you have to walk them through it and ask more questions.

I’m gonna write a buddy sitcom and call it the Chronicles of Chegg and Eddar

🧔‍♂️”is this my nonfat latte”
🤷🏼‍♂️”no sir, that is a Frappuccino”
🧔‍♂️”well I want it hot”
🤷🏼‍♂️🫡

“give me a gran dee care-mellow matchiyoudoe”

“Do you serve Mac and cheese here?”

"Can I get a grande venti white mocha" "..ok, one venti white mocha" "yup" ... "WHY IS THIS A VENTI"

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“Spanish Fajita Wrap”

C: “Is there 6 sugars in here??”
“No sir, the sticker said three. Would you like me to add three more to the drink or remake it for you with six?”
C: “NO FUCKING REMAKE THIS STUPID IDIOT.”
*entire cafe staring at me doing two hot bars at once as fast as possible and seeing this man screaming at me*
“Sure thing!”

Lady orders 6 drinks and 6 food items in the drive thru, total comes out to $51. Seems annoyed I'm not engaging with her while prepping her order with a big ass delivery bag, stoppers, sugars, sides of cream, all while taking other customers' orders. Starts loudly telling me about "how good a job I'm doing" sounding very sarcastic, slowly pronouncing the words like she's talking to a child. When I'm cashing her out, talks about "bringing some holiday cheer to the Dentist's office." Didn't tip, by the way. I've never been more pissed at a customer and I've literally had them yelling in my face before.